Children of Davies

Regular readers of this blog (if there are such beasts) might get the impression that Torchwood, Russell T Davies' spin-off from his resurrected Doctor Who, never really lit my candle. Terrible storylines, despicable characters, trite dialogue and very patchy acting didn't add up to a very competent whole... and then they tried to make it 'edgy', 'sexy' and 'adult', and it just turned out juvenile and gratuitous.

No, Torchwood wasn't commissioned in the Beeb's finest hour.

So I was quite surprised when it got a second series.

And very much not surprised when it turned out to be just as terrible as the first, with James Marsters playing another 'rogue time agent' who knew something about Jack's long-lost brother (first mentioned when Marsters arrived in the story). Nor was I surprised when these two mortal enemies started snogging during a fight in a nightclub. It was subtle as a brick, and just as interesting to watch.

Imagine my surprise, then, when a third, mini-series was announced - to run on BBC1 on five consecutive nights - with a portentious subtitle: Children of Earth.

Now, if I were to say that it's the best Torchwood story so far, I realise that wouldn't be saying much... but, compared to the first two flabby, rambling series, Children of Earth actually managed to be reasonably riveting. Rather than having a new story for each episode with an alleged series arc fluttering around somewhere in the background, this was one fairly tight arc. It suffered from the usual problems - characters introduced purely to create emotional impact which, in the end, just wasn't there; plot holes the size of the Rift; patchy script and acting - it carried through and managed to hold my attention for the whole five episodes. Perhaps this format suits Torchwood better.

It tried to throw in some twists and turns - is Jack really such a good guy? The reason the aliens want 10% of Earth's children - but much of it was desperately unoriginal and therefore eminently predictable. In the end, it presented us with Earth in a no-win situation only for Captain Jack Harkness to save the day with what was supposed to be a heart-wrenching choice and an irritating Deus Ex Machina. Davies needs to learn some new tricks... and realise that throwing in sex doesn't make things 'adult' in the same way that having lots of people shouting doesn't make things 'edgy'.

Of course, the climax suggests that this is it for Torchwood - only Gwen and Jack are left alive, and Jack proves what a pathetic character he really is by running away. Unless he bumps into The Doctor again on his travels, and gets some sense slapped into him, I can imagine that there will be no attempt to rebuild and restart the Torchwood Institute and, considering what a dick Jack turned out to be, there's no real reason to follow Casualty's example and have, for example, Torchwood 1909.

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