Tuesday 30 January 2007

Games we play

OK, I'll come clean. The only reason I bought myself a new PC a couple of years ago was so that I could play Neverwinter Nights. The old PC was good enough for most other purposes, but I'd seen demos of NN, read glowing praise about it, and decided "Yes, that is the game for me!"

For the uninitiated, Neverwinter Nights was, at the time of its release, a cutting-edge role playing game based around the old warhorse that is Dungeons & Dragons. Its main story is of a plague that hits the city of Neverwinter, and of the sinister plot behind it. At its heart, it's a hack'n'slash adventure with some puzzles thrown in to keep one thinking.

And here's where the problems begin. Dear reader, I have not the temperament for this sort of game. I try, I really do. I got into RPGs by playing the Final Fantasy series under various emulators. They kept things nice and simple, and generally had excellent stories but, when it came down to it, combat was too random for my tastes, and there was too much aimless wandering.

So why did I think Neverwinter Nights would be different?

Well, visually, it's leaps and bounds ahead of all but the latest games in the Final Fantasy franchise. It also has online play, though I doubt I'll ever get round to using it. It also includes 1-click recommendations for levelling up, which takes all the confusion out for the role playing neophytes like me.

It all went horribly wrong for me when I realised (in very nearly my first battle) that the whole thing is still completely random. OK, not entirely random. It's based on your character's stats and virtual die-rolling... but, in my world, that's plenty random enough. Maybe if I'd ever figured out how these stats work, how best to manipulate them to create the character I really want to play, and why certain character classes are completely unable to use certain items of equipment (I mean, come on, how difficult is it really to get your head around wearing armour? Can it really affect a character's ability to cast spells?), I'd have a better appreciation of these games, and get more fun out of them... but, to be honest, I truly doubt even that.

It's not just the feeling of disconnection and lack of control in combat. It's the way the whole thing works, and the way certain tasks can only be accomplished in a certain way. It's the way it'll present you with a room full of levers which has you reaching for a walkthrough, only to reward you with something your character can't use anyway. It's the way you find yourself reading through the rest of the walkthrough, to see what's ahead... only for it to leave you thinking "Oh, hell, do I really have to go through all of that crap?!"

And that's why I stopped playing ages ago. I got tired of running through repetitive landscapes/dungeons, fighting off repetitive monsters in repetitive battles I wasn't even really fighting, facing lever puzzle after lever puzzle after bloody lever puzzle. What can I say? It got dull. The worst part was that I persevered and reached the climactic battle, only to find an important plot element had mysteriously vanished from my inventory several saves back. If that wasn't bad enough, the climactic battle was utterly unfair because my character fought mainly barehanded, and my sidekick fought with a large, 2-bladed sword. To kill the main villain, we had to kill the two enemies that were protecting her against blades and bludgeons... and my sidekick insisted on attacking the wrong thing, no matter what I did. Add to that, the fact that the main villain could stop time and still attack both of us, and it just became ridiculous.

The expansion packs - Shadows of Undrentide and Hordes of the Underdark - offered something more, but each had its own share of stupid situations and infuriating lever puzzles, so I quickly gave up on them too.

Over the last couple of weekends, though, I've tried getting back into them. I immediately discarded any notion of starting the main campaign from the beginning or, indeed, from any of my saved games. I never really got anywhere with Hordes of the Underdark, so I figured I'd start there.

Sadly, exactly the same problems presented themselves. Lever puzzles in just about every level. No sense of involvement in the battles (in fact, once the battle is joined, you can quite happily go and make yourself a cup of tea because, whether you're there or not, the outcome will most likely be the same). Sections that had me reaching for a walkthrough, only for me to realise I really didn't want to face the next part anyway.

I even went round looking for fan-made modules to try out. I downloaded one, found it reasonably diverting, but also a little disturbing (it borrowed heavily from Silent Hill and its like) and a touch unfair. I'm still considering downloading more, but part of me is already asking "What's the point?"

It's a crying shame but, as I said at the beginning, I just don't have the temperament for these games. I keep trying, and they keep annoying me. Baldur's Gate 2 suffered exactly the same fate, as did Arcanum (which I really wanted to like, being a fantasy 'steam punk' RPG, and I love the idea of high-tech steam machinery). The only game that didn't suffer too much was Diablo 2 which is, let's face it, an Action RPG rather than a true RPG. But even in that, though you appear to be involved in the combat, you're really not involved to the degree you might think.

And the reason all this is bothering me so much is that I've seen Neverwinter Nights 2 sitting around in the shops. Part of me wants it... but I'd need to buy a new PC (or, at least, free up a huge amount of hard disk space, or buy an external drive) to play it anyway... and I'd end up playing it for a few weeks, and then casting it into a drawer because it's just not my kind of game.

I like adventure games, games driven by story... I used to love the point-and-click adventures, but they're just not cool anymore. Give me a game that looks like Neverwinter Nights, but plays like the old style adventures (though preferably without the silly mazes), and I might just be happy. Throw in some action-oriented combat, and so much the better.

Then again, knowing how easily I get bored with these things, there probably isn't much point.

In other news, my health is improving, and I shall be returning to work tomorrow. My left ear feels better (though strangely a little numb), my right seems OK, and my left eye appears to have calmed down dramatically, but I'm still coughing intermittently. If I survive tomorrow (my press day!), I'll be fine.

Monday 29 January 2007

Miserable weekend, and then...

So I'm still unwell.

Had the day off work today and, chances are, tomorrow too. My cold has developed into an ear infection which, unlike last time, is not content with being resident in one ear only. Oh, no. I have an ear infection in both ears.

Managed to get an appointment with my doctor at 10 this morning. When I spoke to the receptionist, she said it was possible I could be seen today "but not until later". I was happy with that, so when she said 10 o'clock, I was rather taken aback. It was already 9.20.

Still, it gave me time to come home and make myself a cup of tea... though I didn't have time to drink much because I made it very hot, and it hadn't quite cooled down before I had to leave again.

The appointment itself took, at most, ten minutes, and I was prescribed the longest list of medicines I've ever had: An antibiotic (1 week's supply), a decongestant (1 month's supply) and ear drops. She also took a swab of the worst affected ear, "in case the antibiotic doesn't work, and we have to look for alternatives" - basically, getting ahead of the game. I also have an appointment for next week, which suggests this sucker is worse than I thought.

OK, sure, I've had crippling headaches during the day, which I've had to try to sleep through, so perhaps I should have guessed it was worse than the last one. And there's that bloodshot eye, too... that's a sign.

The problem is I don't like going to the doctor. The one I used to see made me feel like a hypochondriac, but I get on much better with the one I saw today. She occasionally jokes around (her main thing is how people clean their ears. In her opinion, one should use nothing smaller than one's elbow to clean one's ears), and doesn't look down her nose at anyone. The one I used to see was also my grandmother's GP, and I'm told he preferred to talk about his holidays, rather that discuss her reasons for being in his office.

Anyway. My head is better at the moment, but it's too early to tell how well the medication is going. I hate having a cold.

Had a curious conversation with one of the pharmacists at the chemist I went to for my prescription. Originally from Leeds, he was in the grubby little burg I call home during the mid 70s, and remembers it as being very similar, on the whole. Transport was unreliable even back then, but folks were more tolerant of it, apparently. He also observed that, while he used to be able to clear out cold remedies during the summer, and allergy meds during the winter, now he has to keep a shelf of each all year round. He blamed the overall quality of life in London, and the push towards making it (unnecessarily, in his opinion and mine) a 24 hour city. Leeds, he reckoned, was much better.

His assistant recognised me - or, more accurately, my relation to my mother and grandmother - by my surname. That kind of thing always impresses me... We're a small sort of place - more than a village, less than a town - but still quite impersonal in general. Having a pharmacist, or anyone in any shop, for that matter, who knows who you are gives one a sense of being part of a community, even if only in a small way.

Saturday 27 January 2007

Important note

Following on from the last post, it struck me today that 'the funny watercooler scene' really shouldn't become a common sort of occurrence.

That office is already too much like a bad sit-com. Adding another level of similarity can only be a Bad Thing.

Thank you, and goodnight. You've been a wonderful audience. ;)

If monkeys can learn simple tricks easily, why is it so hard for humans?

Though I was clearly distracted by my new 1:24 Jaguar XK/Robokitty Ravage for most of last week, it still seems somehow odd that I didn't post a single comment about feeling stressed due to the absence of my boss at work. It's not as if it was all plain sailing... but it wasn't utterly disastrous either.

Yesterday, by some good fortune, actually went very well despite being press day for one of the more notoriously... er... complicated magazines. While the sales manager appears to have cleaned up his act somewhat (certainly in terms of drink, if not drugs), we still had a situation where five whole pages - one of them in a premium position - were unsold between Wednesday and Friday morning, and most ended up going out with free ads occupying the spaces. The other salespeople rallied round in the end, but it took a little bit of speech-making by me (with the assistance of one of the other salespeople) for them to show any interest because the general response was "I could try to sell in this ad but... well, it's him, isn't it?"

Being a Salesperson must be hard while being universally loathed... But it's the kind of thing one brings upon oneself. He is rude, he is unreasonable, and he has some bloody stupid ideas.

Thing is, while his magazine may never be one of the big hitters, financially, it's always been something of a flagship. When I started working in that office back in 1999, the company took its name from that magazine. The salesperson who helped me convince others to help did so by telling them she was proud to work on that magazine.

Of course, that didn't stop her selling to the competition, which led to her getting booted out... only to return a couple of years later, when we bought the competition... but that's another story.

In the end, the magazine turned out well. The final section was sent off by 4.30 - about three hours earlier than Wednesday's debacle - end everyone got to start their weekend on time.

Speaking of Wednesday, I had an amusing and edifying conversation with the senior designer on that magazine on Friday. He laid blame for the delays squarely at the feet of the editor, because she spent too much time talking, rather than doing her work. Strange... as I would have blamed him for the delay, and for exactly the same reason. Also because, despite being 'Senior Designer' by rank, he is incapable of saying 'no' to his editors.

Overall, the team did well for a change, even him. Recently, because they couldn't be trusted to take lunch at sensible intervals, preferring to all head out en masse, leaving the department understaffed, my boss introduced a system where whoever was on press got to decide whether they took their lunch at 12 or 1, and their opposite number had to take the other slot. This system applied to both design and copy control, and my boss asked me to make sure this system was adhered to while she was away. I have to admit that, because my magazines were looking so good, I decided I wouldn't bother on Wednesday, just to see what happened. Whether it was that, or just the Editorial flouncing, by Friday, I didn't need to ask them. They were deciding it themselves.

One of the funniest parts of the week (and again, for anyone who knows me, how strange is it that I found any part of a week where I was running the department funny?) was one of those 'watercooler conversations' at the end of the day on Friday.

Our long-term freelancer was already there, drinking his water, while everyone around was packing up and making ready to leave, including our Canadian copy controller who sits right near the water cooler. As I poured my water, the temp asked if I'd be coming down the pub for a few drinks after work. I told him I wouldn't, that I'd be taking myself home before I lost my voice completely (and there again, I'm stressed, I'm ill, and I'm still finding things funny? What's come over me?).
"Is it that bad?" he asked.
"No, it's really not. My voice just keeps dropping off every so often."
Without missing a beat, and with a very solemn look on her face, the copy controller suggested "Maybe it's puberty."

The temp very nearly spat out his water.

Canada Dry Humour: You owe it to your colleagues.

So here we are, in the weekend. My throat is still bad (not sore, just not right, and I'm still coughing) and I probably have an ear infection as well. The light is still wrong for decent photography, which becomes ever more annoying with every cool idea I have.

I discovered last night that Ravage can be posed in a fairly accurate 'cat ready to pounce' position. Also, with only a minor adjustment to the back legs and by opening his mouth, he can be switched into 'hairball' position (cat owners, you know the one). He can't quite do a convincing 'sitting' pose because there's no way to arch the back, and I suspect lying down is out of the question... but it occurred to me that I could do a photo series of my custom Alternator Soundwave training kitty Ravage to perform tricks.

Oh well... I must content myself for the time being by having Ravage on my desk in 'James Bond Mode'.

Please excuse the Kinder toys... Couldn't help myself.

Tuesday 23 January 2007

Kitteh!

Yes, there's a new addition to the household. He's small, sleek, black, walks on four legs, and comes equipped with twin missile launchers.

Transformers Alternator Ravage is a first for many reasons: He's the first Alternator to become an animal (let's see them do Buzzsaw/Laserbeak next!), he's the first to appear in the UK before the States, and he's the first to be claimed by catalogue-store Argos as an exclusive.

When photos first leaked out, I wasn't too impressed... but as more and more photos from happy owners turned up - properly transformed - I started to see him differently. Car-kibble aside, he's actually a very good model. Forget that the car bonnet doesn't open (it is a separate piece, but it's screwed in place), and that the boot only really opens for the purpose of getting his tail out for robot mode. The car looks gorgeous, and robot mode is impressive and highly poseable. The damned thing can even stand on its hind legs without additional support!

Definitely glad I got him...

In other news, work has been much as I expected without the presence of our manager. Certain parties are slacking off. Others are working as well as they normally would (which can mean a range of different things, depending on who I'm talking about ;). I'm expecting tomorrow to be a disaster but, hey, it ain't my magazine going to press.

Mine's looking... not too bad, considering it goes on Friday... I'm quietly confident.

Which makes a change ;)

Sunday 21 January 2007

I spoke too soon

In my last post, I claimed that I'd not had a Zombie dream in ages, and that Alien-related dreams seemed more common. Last night, I had a Zombie dream. More specifically, a dream of a game that was a cross between Resident Evil and the poorly executed Saturn-only rip-off Deep Fear... with a healthy dose of Nazis, just for fun.

It seems that the Nazis had a submarine run entirely - from what I saw - by Zombies. The first problem the player runs into upon infiltrating the sub, is a group of four marching (and singing?) Nazi Soldier Zombies being led by a Female Officer Zombie to the torpedo room. Here, the player knows, they plan to load one Zombie into each of the sub's four torpedo tubes, then launch them at the Allies. The player has been previously instructed that the Zombies will be entirely unaware of him... until he chooses to obstruct or attack them. Due to the layout of the staircase they're approaching by, it seems likely - when one understands videogame mechanics - that a pair of Zombies will exit the stairwell in each direction, meaning the player could not avoid them at the stairwell.

So, head to the Torpedo Room, right? Sabotage them before they get there, that sort of thing.

Of course, there's an 'Explode' button on each torpedo console, but it won't do anything until the torpedoes have been launched. The upside is that the Zombies are to be loaded into modified torpedoes, not just launched by themselves. Theoretically, that just makes the game 'avoid the Zombies until the four are launched, then detonate each torpedo and escape'. Sounds reasonable...

...and it was, until the Female Officer Zombie, without looking round at the player, comments "You ran here pretty fast..."

The game was played entirely in the grainy monochrome of old black and white movies, which proved very effective at conveying the atmosphere. Upon capture, however, the game's characters became colour... and I wasn't aware of any 'background', as such. In any event, the player is imprisoned and, bizarrely, the Female Officer Zombie arrives and asks "have you ever had sex with a Zombie?" This, it would appear, is the player's chance to take advantage of the situation and escape... But I don't know for sure, as I woke up at this point.

Bizarre rip-offs seemed to be the theme of the night, as an earlier dream seemed to borrow elements (not to mention cast members) from the Catwoman movie. The sum total of the dream was the run-up to the climactic battle between the good guys - Catwoman and I - and the villain - Sharon Stone, in full-on exposition rant mode. When we first crept into her sanctuary, she was disguised as a black panther but, having revealed herself by greeting the heroes, jumped up and morphed back into her somehow deformed human form. She then disappeared, and the room collapsed to show a view over - going by the landmarks - the Thames at night. Dark clouds rolled in, the wind howled, and a few spots of rain began to fall.

"Oh, great," I commented. "Why is it that every climactic battle has to be in the rain these days?"

At this point, Shaz returned to explain what the whole story had been about, all the while covering her burnt and scarred face with a cream which seemed to heal and rejuvenate (was that in the movie? I seem to recall it revolved around a cosmetics company... but I didn't bother seeing it as it wasn't really Catwoman. Thanks, Warner ;) ) so she was obviously readying herself for battle while she walked around dealing with the exposition.

Sadly, this dream ended before it got anywhere...

So, it's Sunday, I woke up kinda late and noticed that the light - for the first time so far this year - looked pretty good. Quickly, I dragged myself out of bed and made everything ready to take more photos of Masterpiece Starscream so, with any luck, I would finally have something worth putting up on my website... Of course, it didn't last long. All too soon, the sun had moved into a position where the light was either too harsh and direct - leading my digital camera to interpret bright highlights and very dark shadows, making for atmospheric, but otherwise useless photos - or utterly diffused and reduced by cloud cover. The other downside is that, sitting at my desk, I'm occasionally blinded as the sun comes out from behind the clouds. I really must try again to sort out a light tent so I can take photos in any conditions...

In any event, I managed to fire off a decent number of shots, but it seems the light still isn't quite right. The images are probably good enough for the time being, and I think I've got a good selection of poses and details. Just need to add them to Photobucket, then I can update my website as time allows.

During the week, I had an epiphany of sorts. At first, it was just a joke I made at my own expense but, the more I thought about it, the more obvious it became that I had spoken the sad, difficult truth.

Basically, as mentioned in the previous post, last week was meant to be holiday for me but, for various reasons, I only took two days - the Monday and the Thursday. At one point on the Friday, one of the editors - surprised to see me - said "I thought you'd been suspended".

"No," I replied. "That was yesterday." (My boss had actually threatened to suspend me if I came in on the Thursday, because she wanted to be sure that I took some time off.)

"Oh, that's alright, then... But isn't this your week off?" she asked.
"Yes but, my boss is off next week, and I thought it wise to have some crossover, so I know what to expect next week... and, y'know, I'm a workaholic."

And that's the thing. It gradually dawned on me during the day that I really am a workaholic. I do believe things go wrong when I'm not around (largely because things do go wrong when I'm not around, but that's beside the point). I do believe I'm too busy to take time off. I do worry about the workload I'll return to after taking time off.

Worse still, because of all the crap that's happening at work - despite knowing that it's all 'in progress' and working toward a better way of doing things in future - I'm feeling as demoralised as everyone else and, frankly, I have days when I've completely lost interest in it all. I recently found this list of symptoms of 'burnout': one might feel powerless, hopeless, drained, frustrated, bored, resentful, irritable, detached from those around, trapped, uncertain, insecure, cynical and anxious. That's quite a list... and quite an accurate description of me, some days.

On the upside, I'm not getting migraines, so it's clearly not that bad. In my last job, I started getting quite debilitating migraines in the months before I resigned. I'd go partially blind, or suffer from weird optical illusions, or have little 'sparks' dancing in front of my eyes. It really wasn't pretty, and I'm hoping I never go through that again.

In other news, it transpires that Argos have got a decent selection of TransFormers in the new catalogue, some of which are exclusives. Alternators Ravage (Jaguar version), for example. They're doing their usual thing with the Classics range - each price-point has a catalogue number and you either get a random figure, or you go to customer services and ask to see the range to pick the one you want. I may use this trick to get Jetfire... and, having seen more good photos of Jaguar Ravage properly transformed, I'm starting to warm to him. Having checked stock at many of the London branches, I may decide to pop down to the nearest branch to work during the week.

And, has been subtly hinted elsewhere in this post, my boss is on holiday this coming week... This is a source of some worry for me, as that puts me - somewhat uneasily - in charge. I'm OK if everything's running smoothly - and there's really no reason for anything to go too badly awry - but I quickly get pissed off when things start to drift. Typically, now the 'big problem' we had last year is gone, we've got a whole new 'big problem' along similar lines. He chats too much, and works too little... But, hey, at least he doesn't go creating problems just to feel important by 'solving' them.

Thursday 18 January 2007

Time off in lieu

Today was my second day of holiday this week. By arrangement with the MD, a select few in the department were granted an extra week off work, to be taken by the end of January. The way it worked out, my week off was just before my boss's week off... which seemed a little awkward to me so, being a workaholic - or so it seems - I negotiated my week off down to two days: Monday and today.

As it turned out, my boss was off sick on Monday, which meant next to nothing got done. When I went in on Tuesday, pretty much everything looked disastrous, and Wednesday started off looking no better. Turned out fine, though... my magazine was complete by 5pm (near enough), but then I stayed back to catch up on backups of previous issues.

I do feel as though I've been neglecting this blog lately. The whole point of it was to write about the small and inane things that happen, just to keep me writing. It's not as if nothing has been happening, I just haven't felt inclined to write about it. I only dealt with Christmas in the vaguest of terms, wrote nothing about my visit to my sister's new house (which is pretty fabby... though the area will be a bit dull and soulless until it develops a larger population), and barely commented on New Year. Since then, I've ranted about the morons at work a little (they haven't got any better since - we had a meeting on Tuesday and they're all 'demoralised', as well as being lazy, selfish and stupid... though, actually, that's unfair. Some are working out better than others) but nothing about the other stuff...

So, here goes...

At some point recently I managed to do something nasty to my left hip. Whether it was by sleeping awkwardly (and I can think of one particular incidence of this) or by overexertion (highly unlikely) or even perhaps sitting awkwardly, as I am wont to do at home (particularly while at my computer), something really got damaged. It's something of a recurring problem, but this time was so much worse. For a couple of days I was in such agony that I could barely move without yelping in pain, had great difficulty climbing stairs, and couldn't even sleep well because it hurt to move into any position, and no position stayed comfortable for long. Thankfully, I rediscovered Ibuprofen-based pain-killers, which do an admirable job of controlling, if not fully relieving the pain.

The odd thing about this is that the pain started right on my hip joint, and spread briefly up to my back, with shooting pains down to my left knee. After trying things like microwaved wheat sacks to warm the area, and even wearing a pain relieving heat wrap for a night, the pain moved up, so it's essentially now in the meat of my backside. On the one hand, this seems to be a muscular problem (and I'm so very glad it's not the bone), but on the other had, there is the sense of infection at work... but what kind of infection, and how the merry hell did it get to my hip?

In any event, the pain is relieved, but not yet gone. My two days off this week have allowed it some rest which, in combination with the previously mentioned Ibuprofen-based pain-killers, seems to be doing some good. This is easily the longest I've had hip trouble, though. Normally it'd clear up in a couple of days, as long as I don't do anything daft. Then again, if the worst comes to the worst, as I suggested at work yesterday, I could always become the office equivalent of House - the cantankerous git with a limp. That, or I could see a doctor.

On a more positive note, one of my colleagues has a small exhibition of her artwork running at a vegetarian restaurant near her home. I popped over there this last weekend - despite having a rather agonising night of intense pain the night before - with a friend/colleague, for lunch and to take a gander. It was an interesting mix of styles - some painting, some photographic work - and there were a couple of very striking images... one of which I have since expressed an interest in acquiring. The restaurant probably wasn't the best exhibition space, largely because the lighting - both electrical and ambient natural - was a little excessive for some of the pieces (one or two were essentially 'shades of white'). Also, it felt strange to wander round past tables of people enjoying their food (which was fabulous! I had the vegetarian equivalent of an All Day Breakfast - I don't know what went into the sausages, but they were great), excusing myself by pointing out the paintings I was looking at.

I'd also taken along my camera, to take a picture of the artist with her works (and the large bunch of flowers we'd brought along), for use in the socials pages of one of our magazines. I should have fixed the camera settings more thoroughly, though, as the only photo I took turned out quite grainy. A few more photos might have fixed the problem also, but my friend and I had places to be in the afternoon...

...Specifically, a cinema, to see Night at the Museum, a new comedy film starring Ben Stiller. The main reason for going to see this film was that, in the States, the trailer for the TransFormers movie was playing alongside it. Sadly not the case over here. The most interesting trailer - and I should be clear that this is more 'morbid curiosity' than actual interest - was the new Eddie Murphy vehicle, where he plays almost all the main characters. Again. Don't the Actors' Union have anything to say about this?

Night at the Museum was surprisingly good, though. Some of the less prominent roles were played by decent actors - Owen Wilson as a miniature cowboy with dreams of expanding his railroad into new territory, and his bitter rival, a miniature Roman general with similar goals, was played very well by Steve Coogan. Dick Van Dyke turned out to be a villain (oops, sorry... SPOILER!) for what must be the first time in his career (unless he's been in Columbo), Mickey Rooney still isn't dead, Robin Williams was - at times - quite restrained, and Ricky Gervais did his usual bumbling, unable to finish a sentence, English twit routine. There was absolutely nothing new about the story, but the details and gags they threw in dragged it somewhere above average. My favourite scene - between Wilson and Coogan toward the end - was an affectionate stab at Brokeback Mountain, with the Roman general urging his cowboy pal "Save yourself!", only for the cowboy to shout back "I ain't quittin' you!"

More toys from the upcoming TransFormers movie have been revealed, some of which are looking pretty special. Starscream still looks awkward, but better than the simian/insectoid early prototypes. There are already several versions of Prime around: the miniature one, a Fast Action Battler, a standard-sized one, and a larger, more detailed version. Most are only around as flat grey prototypes at the moment, but the Fast Action Battler has painted prototype images floating around on the interwebs. Fully painted images of Ratchet have been doing the rounds for quite a while now, and FAB Ironhide has turned up now. We've seen pictures of most of the Decepticons in one form or another (though Bonecrusher has been quite evasive so far), so the big question mark is on the movie's interpretation of Jazz... The miniature version has turned up, but nothing else.

Today, I spent quite a while discovering the gems of YouTube... I definitely underestimated it at first glance. Sure, there's a lot of self-absorbed crap, but there's also just about every music video you could ever want to see (and plenty more besides), and oddities like the Nobody's Watching... project. Mythbusters may have shown the world the dangers of adding Mentos to Diet Coke, but the NW crew have scientifically proven that one can create a lightsabre by dropping an M&M into a bottle of Mountain Dew or Diet Mountain Dew. Their investigations of Lost (including an appearance by Maggie Grace) and 24 were also highly entertaining, and their many appearances at an awards ceremony, thanks to borrowed usher's uniforms, were a laugh. The really odd thing is one of them looks like the guy who played the president's aide in the new Battlestar Galactica TV series...

Also, as a somewhat bizarre side note, I spent some time today cleaning my bedroom window. The frame had become somewhat overgrown with mold of a furry grey variety. Great clumps of it, floating in a bleach solution, appeared to have little red bobbles inside them. Ick. It took two scrubbings and some neat bleach to take care of the worst of it. It's not all gone - though some of it seems to have stained the plastic, so it's difficult to tell - but it's certainly cleaner than it has been. The problem with my room is that all the furniture is fixed, and having the desk right in front of the window presents something of a problem when it comes to cleaning it.

I keep meaning to write up a dream I had recently. Quite an odd one, even by the standards of your average dream. It started off jumping into a story where I'd met up with the woman who was the full-time waitress in a bar/restaurant near work, which I used to frequent for a couple of years. She was working elsewhere, in a job which had her wearing a lab coat and, it would seem, carrying around a clipboard much of the time. For reasons not explained by the dream, I was meeting up with her at her job. There was a shopfront, but I ended up being led out to some kind of garden shed to wait for her while she and her clipboard sorted out a few things elsewhere. Before she arrived, however, the dream switched into what seemed to be Aliens vs. Predator vs. TransFormers. Cloaked Predators were sifting through the remains of an utterly destroyed Optimus Prime, and were then set upon by Aliens. At various points in this dream I was seeing it as a movie, or as the Spectrum version of the game of the movie (or whatever). The game was a top-down maze thing, with the sort of simple, monochromatic graphics you'd expect from the Spectrum, but it would then cut back to the 'movie' for some kind of action sequence. Other than the remains at the beginning of this part of the dream, I didn't see a single TransFormer.

Some time ago I had another Aliens-type dream... I wonder if they're replacing Zombies as my subconscious's Bête du Nuit... My Zombie dreams were never really scary - laughable more than anything, as I quickly noticed they'd never come anywhere near me - but they were very frequent for a while.

Better sign off for now... From what I've heard, work tomorrow is going to be harsh.

Monday 8 January 2007

Things Not Done

So, yes, here we are in the New Year. My second week back at work has begun (and we're not doing too badly, so far). I'm starting to piece together the full list of things I wanted to do with the Christmas Break, but didn't get round to.

First and foremost, I still haven't done anything about Look, Monkiez!, which is a crying shame. They even have names now. There's drummer Murphy Richards (Morphy Richards being a manufacturer of household electricals, much like Russel Hobbs), keyboardist/vocalist 36D (a man with a breast fixation if ever there was one), a bassist known only as 'Morlock' who's actually a toff slumming it with the band, and Anime-nut and frequent cosplayer Sacha 'Sashimi-chan' Richards, who's also Murphy's sister.

Of all the photography projects I really wanted to get done before Christmas/New Year, one - the TransFormers Classics 'Happy Feet' skit is the most important. Because Mirage is such a wonderfully poseable - and very stable - figure, I wanted to do a little pee-take of the movie Happy Feet, and have Mirage dancing around, only to be interrupted by Hot Rod asking what he was doing. Mirage would explain that he was dancing, because his feet are happy. Hot Rod would then advise him not to do that around Prime, because it's just not Autobot. Of course, while it would be easy enough to put Mirage into decent Fred Astaire poses, to really do this justice would need stop-motion animation. Maybe one day...

On the subject of photography, I really needed to update my website with pictures of Kiss Player Hot Rodimus, and most of the rest of my Christmas haul... But that's just going to have to wait until weather improves.

Or until I get a light box/light tent for photography. I tried ordering one over the weekend, but it didn't work... I emailed the vendor, but have yet to receive a response.

Something else I neglected to do over the festive period was to send out Christmas/New Year greetings as emails at the very least. You'd think I'd have found the time but, for one reason or another, it never happened. All the more annoying as one e-pal sent a whole bunch of photos of her recently-born baby, and another went to the trouble of sending a card in the post from the States. I've been getting really terrible about responding to email recently. One thing I must try to do this year is get back to my usual system of replying straight away. I may not have much to say, but that just makes for a shorter email ;)

In other news, I'm really beginning to see the point of YouTube. Originally, it just seemed to be a place for sad, silly, pointless videos made by people who must surely have something sensible to do, if only they'd put their minds to (better) use in finding it. Now I see it differently. Why? I'll give you two reasons:

The Sisters of Mercy perform He's Got The Whole World In His Hands
Bay's Touch

And if that ain't enough for you, you'll never get it.

Sunday 7 January 2007

New Year, Same Old Stuff...

Yes, so I'm back at work... Three magazines out in the first week, and all of them on time. I only had one to deal with, but I have another to get done tomorrow... and virtually none of it is ready to go, because the designer took Friday off. Something tells me Monday's going to be a looooong day.

Last week was pretty crappy, on the whole. Almost immediately, I was reminded that I'm working with a bunch of monkeys. One of them pointed to the power switch on a printer and asked me "Is this where it switches on?". Later on, another one reported to me that "The printer says it's offline" and actually had to be told to push the 'online' button. How dense can they possibly be? They even have to be told what to do when the damned things run out of toner... and most still have to be reassured that everything's still OK when the printer warns that toner is low. How can such computer-illiterate people get jobs in this field?

Anyway.

I had intended to post more during the Christmas break, including a few photos of my new stuff... but there hasn't really been enough light to get any decent photography done. Still, there are a few pictures knocking about, and I've now created a Photobucket account to take care of them. So here we go with a little test...

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This is a photo of one of my Christmas presents - TakaraTomy's TransFormers Masterpiece 3: Starscream. Forget all the fanboy whining about the colourscheme and the lack of die-cast metal. This thing, more than any of the previous Masterpiece models, lives up to the hype. It's truly beautiful, both in robot mode and as a scale model F-15.

I also have my new Ikea cabinet arranged mostly how I want it. Here are the most recent photos, some of which aren't up to date anymore, as of today ;)

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Reissues and specials, including THS-01 and 02, Takara Reissues Perceptor and Broadcast (with Steeljaw barely visible next to him), e-Hobby Detritus and Cobalt Sentry (Howlback and Garboil) and Tigertrack. I've since added some Hasbro Generation 1 reissues: Inferno, Prowl, Red Alert and Tracks.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Masterpiece 1 Convoy and Masterpiece 3 Starscream

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UK Primus, Japanese Vector Prime, Japanese EZ Galaxy Convoy (came with Megalo Convoy) and UK Legends of Cybertron Galvatron

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Armada Unicron, his Mini-Con Dead End, and Armada Laserbeak. I've since added Cybertron Unicron to this shelf... he makes an interesting comparison to the older, larger model.

With any luck, I'll be able to get more images up soon... when the weather improves.

In other news, I went to the Science Museum's 'The History of Videogames' exhibition... It's a lot of fun, in that it's several rooms full of videogames old and new... but it's also somewhat typical of Science Museum exhibitions, in that it doesn't really give you any depth. It's quite a random selection of examples, with very little of the actual history of videogames. More of a retro arcade than a true retrospective. Still, I did get to play Tennis on Wii... it's simple, but fun, and almost feels like you're playing the real thing.

I'm almost tempted to get a Wii...

There's loads more I should write about, but I can't be bothered right now. Soon, though...