Sunday 26 November 2006

Keychains and snowstorms...

By which subtle Marc Almond reference, we come to this year's winter Memorabilia show at the Birmingham NEC.

In many ways, this was a much smaller affair than any of the previous shows I've visited. All of these conventions, lately, seem to be getting smaller and smaller... If not in terms of floorspace (as was the case with this Memorabilia) then in terms of good use of that floorspace, and retail opportunities. Strange, as they seem to be consistently popular. That having been said, this show didn't experience the sudden crowding at 11am (standard entry time) that the others had.

Bad weather had been forecast for this weekend, so the initial plan was that my friend and I would be in and out of the show fairly quick, to avoid having to drive back to the hotel in the gale force winds that supposedly threatened. Certainly, the drive up to Birmingham wasn't too pleasant. Now that it's getting dark so early, it was pitch black and raining all the way. I have a nasty habit of sleeping through car journeys, however inclement the weather, but being at the wheel the whole way, my friend had no such luxury and, when the car started to aquaplane at one point, we slowed right down until the weather eased up.

A diversion on the route to the hotel caused some brief worry, too, but things worked out quite nicely, the diversion reconnected with the main road, and we arrived at the hotel at a still reasonable hour, had a snack dinner, then hit the sack.

The drive to the NEC gets easier each time we do it - this was actually our fourth visit to the show, so it should be pretty simple by now! - and the M6 Toll Road cuts travel time dramatically. So few people are willing to stump up the cash (£3.50 for yer average car) that the road is plain sailing all the way. Hum... Perhaps a sailing analogy isn't such a good idea after the aquaplaning incident...

Nevertheless, we got to the NEC, and even managed to negotiate its bizarrely complicated internal road system which always, without fail, manages to force one to park at the opposite end of the grounds to the hall you're heading toward. I'd like to think they don't do it on purpose, but I can't see how else it could happen.

Prepaid car parking and 'early bird' entrance tickets got us in nice and easy, though, and the browsing began with a look around a small art/animation gallery, displaying everything from Disney to Batman and Superman to Danger Mouse and Mr Ben. They were running a prize draw for a canvas to be painted by one of the celebrity guests, which could have been fun. Wasn't too bothered when I left the show later without having entered, though.

In an attempt to be organized, we tend to walk the aisles in a pretty regimented fashion, deviating from the 'up one, down the next' system only when something particularly fascinating catches our eye. For the most part, that didn't happen very often (although every stall carrying anything TransFormers was pointed out to me, and every time something worthwhile cropped up on one of those, I was advised to "buy it NOW, you'll only regret missing it later" - certainly not ironic coming from the one who denied herself the opportunity to own a chittering, snuffling, jumping electronic furry Ice Age 2 prehistoric Squirrel for so long, they...er... became extinct ;)

And, no, there weren't any at Memorabilia either... I'm sure they're out there somewhere, though.

For the most part, while I found one stall which had some of the things I was after, I was really looking for the stall held by 2nd Star, purveyors of TransFormers to the discerning buyer, and was aiming to pass them most of my trade. I recently had to cancel a pre-order I had with them because they were having such trouble with their suppliers (all the more annoying because they got stocks mere days after I picked up what I'd ordered at Toys'R'Us!), so I felt like making it up to them because they're a nice, helpful and friendly bunch. They turned out to be right at the end of the hall, near the stage area, so I would have found them far quicker than I did had I followed my friend when she dashed off to see Babylon 5's Claudia Christian on stage promoting her new TV series, Starhyke.

When I caught up with her later, just in time to see the screen makeup presentation, Zombies! It Could Be YOU!, it turned out that I hadn't missed anything good... the Q&A session had about 10 people in the audience, and the whole thing had been "somewhere between embarassing and humiliating". On a more interesting note, my friend had been in a queue for drinks with Claudia Christian just afterward.

The screen makeup presentation was pretty good but, being presented in real time, took ages to get anywere. It was interesting all along, and the presenter kept things flowing nicely with much joking and self-depreciating banter. We nipped out after the groundwork of foam latex parts had been glued on, and blended in so we could continue browsing, and came back toward the end to see the finished zombie.

Strangely, it looked like Matt Lucas.

After that came the second showing of the Starhyke pilot, and slowly we understood why attendance for the Q&A session after the first showing had been so poor. Starhyke could quite easily be one of the worst TV shows of all time. Hovering indecisively between toilet humour and Carry-On sex farce, it doesn't even play to Claudia Christian's comedy strength (deadpan - Bab5 could be utterly hilarious simply by showing us Ivanova doing nothing more than raising an incredulous eyebrow in the face of bizarre alien occurances, but her few pithy words in some situations were perfectly judged). The opening sequence, and most of the computer generated effects throughout, are stunning. Some of the best outer space CGI since the later Star Trek series and, had it been a little more imaginitive, better even than Bab5 and the new Battlestar Galactica. Aside from one funny visual gag, where the Dreadnought Nemesis bumps a satellite out of its way, it went quickly downhill as soon as the characters started talking.

At first, Claudia Christian might as well be playing Ivanova again but, as soon as the plot kicks off, and the crew of the Nemesis are sent back in time to the present day and turned into morons, slapstick humour and unfunny jokes make one wonder if this thing wasn't written mainly down the pub by a committee of very drunk Red Dwarf fans (who, by and large, must have missed the best jokes in Dwarf) who sat around one evening saying "wouldn't it be funny if...". Someone should have sobered up and pointed out that the answer was often "no". Jeremy Bulloch as the ship's doctor is alternately randy or senile, and the ship's teenage chief engineer manages to have an orgasm over a helping of spotted dick. When Harry Met Sally it was not. Just about everyone in the crew got into gratuitous groping/snogging for no reason other than to illustrate one of the central plot elements for the series.

According to the scant details available at Memorabilia, the entire series was filmed having been funded by a TV station. This unnamed company then pulled out before any of the post-production work could happen, and the crew then saved up to do it themselves so they could present the series as a fait accompli to any TV station.

I can see why whichever company it was pulled out... As Sci-Fi Comedies go, this is light on both, and I'm sorry to say I'm hoping it never gets airtime. My guess is that the BBC were looking for something to follow Red Dwarf in the Sci-Fi Comedy stakes, before they realised what a success the new Doctor Who had become, but then pulled out when they realised Starhyke just wasn't funny. And that Who was excellent. I kinda feel sorry for Claudia Christian, because she deserves far better than Starshite. Sorry, Starhyke.

So, what nice things can I say about Memorabilia? It was a great show, despite the reduced size. Compared to the recent London Expo, this was about 95% retail and 5% display as opposed to the paltry 30/70 (at best) split of the London show. There was a huge range of stuff, from old to new, sci-fi to sports... Just about every kind of geek was represented, but there wasn't much (that I saw) in the way of Cosplay.

My haul from 2nd Star was largely TransFormers from the Classics line - Optimus Prime and Megatron, Starscream, Bumblebee and Hot Rod (sorry, Rodimus), along with the Japanese Beast Wars Reborn (aka 'Reboan' due to a spelling mistake on the CD) 10th Anniversary set, and THS-01 Galaxy Convoy, which is now set to be one of my Christmas presents this year. I was tempted to also pick up TF: Titanium Jetfire and Optimus Prime, but decided against in the end. Elsewhere, I picked up Classics Mirage and Astrotrain, but sadly missed out on Grimlock, who sold out very quickly. Jetfire was noteable by his absence...

Pictures will turn up sooner or later - next weekend at the earliest, because it's getting dark too early to do any photography when I get home after work - so, for the moment, suffice it to say that they're spiffy.

I considered getting a couple of things as Christmas presents for friends and family, but I've already got most of those people's presents sorted. I was counting on finding a new dragon for my mother's collection, but either the usual stalls weren't there, or they weren't selling any dragons that I saw.

The trip came to a rather unhappy end this morning, when it transpired that my friend had been very ill overnight. She'd had a very rich starter for dinner, and followed it up with Lamb as a main course, which lead to a very uncomfortable night for her, and a small delay in leaving the hotel. Even so, we managed to stop off at a little craft centre we've passed by and visited before and, while the excellent delicatessen had shut down (sometime in June, we were told), the other places were still there, and I came away with a selection of ales for my parents, and some jams/preserves for everyone.

In other news, I got a letter recently from a friend in the States, Lydia, who I've not seen online in some time, thanks to her husband's discovery of the internet. She mentioned that she'd read this blog to catch up on what I'd been up to, but misses the two-way communication of chatting via MSN Messenger and suchlike. This got me thinking about a conversation I had with my Memorabilia buddy, when I first got her to try MSN. She said it was awkward because the timing was so different to talking face-to-face, or even over the phone, and didn't quite believe that it would ever feel 'natural'. That changed, of course, and now we chat online quite easily when we're not able to speak face-to-face.

So to you, Lydia, I say this: It's all a matter of timing, and if you can slow yours right down, leaving comments on my blog almost works as well as - albeit far slower than - any 'instant messenger' software. Frustrating, maybe, but easy enough once you find the new rhythm.

Also recently, I got a couple of emails from Cheryl, a girl who first contacted me way back when I was signed up to several internet dating services (more on that some other time... there are plenty of horror stories!). We've never actually met, but we have exchanged a fair bit of email. Neither of us are 'on the market' any more, for one reason or another, but I still hear from her once in a blue moon. The first email she sent was a link to a t-shirt which bears the legend "Haikus are easy/but sometimes they don't make sense/Refrigerator" - a very funny bit of haiku... Though it's not necessarily true that Haiku (I don't tend to pluralise it, personally) are easy to write.

The second was 'the lost Dr Seuss poem' - I Love My Job, which was quite cute... I really must write back to her, and to Lydia...

While I remember, I shall refer to an earlier posting by saying that the magazine for which I drew the '12 Days of Christmas' icons arrived back in the office last week, and they look pretty damned good in print. I still don't like them, as such, but they serve their purpose very well.

And on that note, I shall conclude this posting...

Monday 13 November 2006

Deadlines

Word came to me today that there's now a 10-day deadline for the first stage of a new project I'm involved in at work. Ten days to get as much as possible done, when parts of the project beyond our control are... shall we say less than complete? The second stage begins on Friday, from which point we'll have ten days to get as much as possible done for that, before the third stage begins, and then the fourth.

All this would be easy if I had nothing else to do.

As it happens, I have one of my usual deadlines on Thursday, then another two next week, and then it all starts getting really busy in the run-up to Christmas. And I'm expected to get involved in conference calls? When I don't even have my own office?

Being drafted into this project seemed like a good thing at the time, but it's being wholly mismanaged, and the folks who have to do the donkey work just aren't being considered. Nor is the extent of the donkey work required. In many ways, it's even up to the folks doing the donkey work to determine that... And the bad news is that, because of the way we operate, there's quite a bit of pissing about.

It does seem these days that, the bigger the business, the more generally inconsiderate they are. It's just a case of "Aha! We can make money by doing this! Let's hire someone to do half the job, then dump the rest on existing staff who clearly don't have enough to do if they usually manange to leave the office before 7.30pm and manage to have a social life. We don't know how we're going to make money out of it, but it bloody well better make us a tidy profit, or people will be sacked."

My problem is that, somewhere along the lines, I became hailed as a hero - entirely unjustly, but it suits the MD to say that one of his team is a key player (I have been told to "eat less humble pie") - and, as one of the few computer literate people in the company, I was a shoe-in for this project. Trouble is, I know how this "Man of the Moment" crap works, and the moment is generally very short. When they're done telling you what a great job you've done, they give you even more shit to shovel. I don't mind shovelling shit, per se... but I do know what my limits are, and I generally know when I've done something praiseworthy.

No, really, I do. I just have really high expectations of myself.

A prime example being the sketching I did this weekend. Really, not up to my own standards, but they were only meant to fulfill a very basic purpose. They are very basic, and really only took as long as they did because it was a boring job.

OK, that's not entirely true. It took as long as it did because I'm having as much trouble focussing on sketching as I am on writing. It's somewhat distressing... I used to be able to draw quite easily, albeit slowly, and put a lot of effort in to speeding myself up. While my average (halfway decent) sketch was still taking several months to complete, I managed to knock out a couple of really good ones in a little over an hour. These days, I can't stand to look at a blank page, however many ideas I have, because the act of sketching (or writing) feels like a chore, rather than a recreational activity, and whatever makes it onto the page seldom matches what I'd imagined... And I'm not convinced that doing sketches for work is doing anything the change that.

Sunday 12 November 2006

Look, Monkeys!

It all started with this edition of Shortpacked!

It seemed so innocent at the time. "Look, monkeys!" would be the phrase used to distract from all mistakes or difficult questions. It was the ultimate 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card. But then, for no obvious reason, that idea found itself entwined with the concept of Tribute Bands. Specifically, how could one create a tribute band for Gorillaz who, let's face it, don't really exist. Would the tribute band be real people, or would it be cartoon? If it was cartoon, would it ape (sorry!) Jamie Hewlett's style, or would it be radically different? Would it be characters who looked hopelessly different from Murdoc, 2D, Noodle and Russel, but dressed like them? Many questions... The only certainty was the name they'd adopt: Look, Monkiez!

I had grand hopes for this weekend. For starters, I had to finish some sketches for work - icons for a '12 days of Christmas' thing which have been alternately boring me stupid and frustrating the hell out of me for about a month now - but then, I'd be free to have a go at illustrating Look, Monkiez! for the first time. I have a vague idea of their look... each one will be a not-quite-opposite of their counterpart in Gorillaz, and what they lack in talent, they'll make up for in sheer enthusiasm for paying tribute to their inspiration. I figure the Russel analogue would be extremely skinny, but equally nutty behind the drums, and 'Noodle' would be a chubby girl with a dippy anime name that has -chan thrown on the end for no good reason. She may wear cat-girl ears. 2D's counterpart would most likely mimic the original by wearing extremely heavy eyeliner. The Murdoc equivalent would certainly have a ridiculously oversized pudding-basin haircut. Probably a wig.

As it happened, I was too tired yesterday to do anything, and woke up with a headache this morning. I tried to work on the icons in the morning and after lunch, but didn't do too well.

In the afternoon, I went to see The Prestige. Bonkers film. Utterly bonkers. Full of illusions, misdirection, trickery and hints of what's to come, I'm not sure whether to be very impressed or rather disappointed by the denouement. I enjoyed the film - very well-paced, and the twists were clever enough to avoid being entirely predictable - but it was difficult to find enough sympathy for any of the main characters to feel satisfied with the ending. Maybe I should look up the novel... Before setting out to see it, I wasn't aware that David Bowie was in the film - a fact which might well have put me off. That would have been a mistake - his turn as Nikola Tesla was subtle and well-played... I almost wish he'd had more screen time. In many ways, Bowie's bits of this film reminded me of the anime Steamboy - science so advanced, it's indistinguishable from magic... and Scientists seeking to unlock great secrets.

Once back home, I tried to motivate myself to get back to the Christmas icons for work, but my first attempt at 'neat' versions, which I'd intended to colour by hand, were scrapped. Coloured pencils just ain't my thing. In so many ways, pencils in general are not my thing... but coloured pencils never give me the effect I'm after, as I just end up scribbling with them as I do with any other kind. I have a coloured Partridge in a Pear Tree, and that's it. It looks OK, and yet somehow wrong, and that's not solely due to my piss-poor technique.

The Gold Ring also had a complete overhaul. Originally, I'd drawn just a simple ring, then I added some blobs to make it a more ornate ring. It looked crap, though, and I wanted more than just a ring in the picture, so I redrew the whole thing as a simple ring (with added gold sparkle effect) on a cushion. Looks much better. I suspect I'll add some colour to each one in Photoshop, but it won't be too dramatic. Maybe turn them slightly sepia-toned and try to add a dash of colour to certain parts (my French Hen may have Tricolore tailfeathers). We shall see... Largely, it depends on how much time I have at work. At least I did eventually finish all twelve, and they're still clean enough to scan well when I get to the office.

Someone remind me to politely decline next time anyone asks me to draw something for work. I still cannot work to any kind of deadline, and I couldn't give a stuff if I get any extra money out of it.

Tonight's Torchwood was probably the most impressive so far, in terms of developing an interesting storyline well enough to fit it into an hour of television... And yet still they rely on jarring shouty bits and sudden bouts of emoting a little bit too hard. The special effects were particularly good but the end was a little limp. I am starting to wonder if they've really thought through the character of Captain Jack Harkness... Originally, it seemed that he became immortal in the future, thanks to Rose Tyler/Bad Wolf, but Torchwood appears to be suggesting that it wasn't her temporary foray into Godhood that brought him back to life in the future. This would tend to start one wondering how long he's lived... If he was already immortal back before World War I and, when he met Rose and The Doctor back in World War II, he was from the future where humans had spread out across the galaxy, he's had an incredibly long life... But is the Torchwood Jack the one from the future where Rose destroyed the Daleks (in which case, how did he get back to the present day?), or has he not yet met her or The Doctor? Is Russell T Davis messing with our heads?

Thursday 9 November 2006

Work In Progress

The aim of this Blog was to ease me back into writing regularly. A few years ago, I joined up with an internet writing group, and churned out a couple of very well-received stories. For one reason or another, though, it all dried up. I had (have) ideas for plenty more stories, but I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write... and the story I'd been working on at the time (approaching 30,000 words) ground to a halt.

Part of me still thinks it's a numbers thing. I kept doing wordcounts, and as they crept ever higher, I found it more and more difficult to carry on, because I was only intending to write short stories, and I seemed to be heading towards a novel.

Not that that would be a bad thing...

For the most part, I just started getting very critical of everything I wrote and, while I'd often come up with whole paragraphs that I really liked - invariably whenever I was nowhere near a computer, or anything else I could write with - I never managed to write them out, and ended up forgetting them. I even bought myself a little PDA - a Hewlett Packard Jornada 720 - for just those occasions... and yet I never remembered to keep it with me.

The other problem is that sometimes I find the act of writing such a chore. All that typing or scribbling... it's just dull. I need some way of directly transfering what's in my head into a Word document, or something. That'd be perfect.

To make matters worse, all my writing for the group was initially based around one character, with a few set to be recurring characters. All of a sudden, one day, one of my 'other' characters became a key player in another story with another main character... who quickly became more interesting than my original main character, and with a whole great, sweeping story arc of her own. After coming up with a few ideas to get that rolling, it quickly dried up.

Except that's not quite fair to say... It's all still there, whizzing around in my head, but I just can't focus on writing.

Which, going back to the original point of this post, is the point of this Blog: A focal point, and 'practice', to get back into the habit of writing. The problem I'm having now (aside from time) is that I find myself automatically censoring everything I think about writing, to the point that there's no purpose in writing it. Don't want to say too much about work, because that's got me in trouble in the past (although that was on my website, which many of my colleagues knew about and, as briefly mentioned in my first post, was obsessed over by one of them), and I can't force myself to come up with witty/crazy things to write about, like the 3D photography post... That sort of thing will occur to me at random.

I can only hope that I'll start coming up with things, because I really do want to get back into writing, and I'd rather not resort to raiding my old stuff to bulk up this blog. Of course, when something interesting happens in my life - such as the Expo recently, and the upcoming Memorabilia - I shall endeavour to write about them... but I do have this nagging feeling (damn you, self-doubt) that I'll go for quite long periods without updating this thing.

One fun bit of news today came from an ex-colleague, well known for being connected for all the gossip. It seems that two of my least favourite ex-colleagues have had some recent upsets. One is looking for a new job because her current (rather prestigious) employer won't give her a pay rise (and absolutely not because no-one there likes her, wants to go to lunch with her, or will even refer to her by name). Another recently split from her boyfriend (another ex-colleague!) after being - and here I quote - "a bit naughty". Considering the way her previous relationship broke up, this surprises me not one bit.

One thing I will mention about work today... As previously mentioned, one member of the department was recently let go. Since then, it has occasionally been observed that many of the silly little problems we had, which often resulted in delays, aren't happening as often. Still happening, and I'd never expect them to stop entirely, but the occurences of the sillier problems are statistically more likely to be accidental now... They used to happen far too often.

Wednesday 1 November 2006

Testing

You Are: 20% Dog, 80% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat.
You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way.
And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!

It's true... Oh, yes. Except perhaps the 20% Dog part. Not sure where that came from.

No, I'm not larking about at the office, I'm at home. Taking the morning off, going into work later.