Yo J.O.E.

Back when I was in school, there were two really big toylines: TransFormers and Action Force. One was a completely new line (though derived from several original Japanese lines) while the other was a distillation of Action Man, reinvented in the form of smaller, less articulated action figures with molded costumes and plenty of accessories.

Of course, Action Man and Action Force were the UK's names for G.I. Joe

And so it came to pass that, twenty-something years later, and following on from the success of the live-action TransFormers movie and its sequel, Revenge of the Fallen, Hasbro and Paramount have joined forces once again, to create G.I.J.O.E.: The Rise of Cobra.

The subtitle alone tells you this will be the first of many.

First off, I have to say it's a far better movie than Revenge of the Fallen. It's more coherent, more straightforward, and has none of the teen-oriented testicle gags. Where it's played for laughs, it's not incongruous. The characters feel closer to what one would expect of a real-world versions... and it's highly unlikely that Duke will ever grab Destro by the chin and growl "Give me your face!". Not least because, considering how Destro's mask was dealt with, I don't think it comes off...

On the flipside, I have to say it's not as thrilling a ride. A couple of times I found myself thinking "come on, get on with it..." while waiting for the next action scene. It's also full of clichés, not only from the old animated series but in general story terms. Worst of all, it's far more obviously an advertisement for toys than RotF... bizarre, when you consider that was a movie about transforming robots based on a toyline full of transforming robots. This is a movie about an elite global military task force, and the beginnings of their high-tech and lethal enemy, also based on a toyline... and yet you'll spend much of your time wondering how cool the toy of this vehicle or that will be. The real shame of it is that things like the Accelerator Suits will be far less cool in toy form.

The beginnings of Cobra Commander and Destro are handled in a very interesting fashion - Destro being very much the leader of the terrorist organisation at the beginning, only for the roles to be suddenly and dramatically reversed right at the end. The Baroness is rather more shakey. Back when she was blonde, she was Duke's love interest... but when Duke fails to protect her brother in "Northern Africa", and subsequently can't face her again, she dyes her hair black and shacks up with a French baron (do the French still have a Nobility? I though their little revolution put a stop to that kind of thing...) and becomes involved with a military armaments magnate on the side. Supposedly she's only evil because of a bit of high-tech mind control... and kind of turns good in the end... but in such a way as to let you know she'll be evil again in the sequel.

In fact, most of the characters got their fair share of screen time and backstory, another improvement over the TransFormers franchise so far. They had a brief flashback to some significant event that marked a turning point in their life. It was smoothly done, and served to flesh out these super soldiers more than adequately. The only exceptions were General Hawk, Heavy Duty and Scarlett... but perhaps they'll be explained further in the sequel.

Yes, it has it's fair share of flaws and plotholes, and it's not as balls-out (pardon the expression) action as RotF... but as a movie, it's definitely better, bar the obvious marketing. That said, it's clearly not doing as well as RotF - the cinema in which I saw GIJOE:RoC seemed only to be showing it on one screen and, while the RotF packed out the cinemas on the two occasions I saw it, GIJOE:RoC wasn't even half full, two days after its release.

I may try to see it again, just to help it along, because it deserves a sequel.

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