In a scene that wouldn't be out of place in one of the Wishmaster movies (more on that later), their inbox suddenly has invitations from three people they really wouldn't want to keep in touch with.
Hypothetically.
But anyway. It seems I have been remiss in documenting some of the films I've seen recently... and, since I can't remember what they all were, or what order I saw them in, I'll just babble about some of them as they occur to me.
First off, then, Sucker Punch... which I saw at the BfI IMAX cinema uptown yesterday, with my old mate Paul. We'd arranged to meet up fairly early, eat out, then wander round our usual haunts (HMV, Forbidden Planet, Computer Exchange, etc) before finally hoofing it over the river to the cinema near Waterloo station.
Let's face it, I needed the exercise.
The whole day turned out to be a roaring success - just for a change... I should take careful note of what happens when I actually go out once in a while. Lunch was a simple affair at KFC (probably my first in a couple of months... which is strange, considering they're usually my first port of call when I can't be bothered to cook dinner, but do need to eat), then we wandered off in search of the branch of Computer Exchange that's just off Oxford Street (used to have a cool Retro section in the basement, but now it's all DVDs). Not much of interest to either of us, as it turned out, but it's always worth a look. Getting there was somewhat hampered by that pesky Crossrail construction project at Tottenham Court Road, and we ended up backtracking, then widely circumnavigating the building site. Still... exercise, right?
Next up was Forbidden Planet... and, again, I was pleased to see TransFormers there, but disappointed by their selection - not even the current wave of things that are commonly available elsewhere. I was not remotely surprised to see that none of the Dead Space 2 Isaac Clarke action figures they'd had last time I was there were still around. Plenty of necromorphs, but no more Mr Stompy. I was very pleasantly surprised to see a single Kotobukiya DC Comics Bishoujo Catwoman statuette on their shelves... and so gladly relieved them of this terrible burden. I'd thought it would be necessary to preorder via the FP website, and almost decided to leave it and order when I got home. Then common sense and experience informed me that I'd probably forget all about it until it was too late and they were out of stock. Paul picked up a cool Doctor Who t-shirt (the Peter Davison version), and I very nearly grabbed a selection of '2 for £10' Sci-Fi DVDs (Soylent Green, Slaughterhouse 5 and several others looked interesting), but decided to save my cash, just in case.
By the time we were finished in FP, we had just enough time for a lightning raid on HMV, in search of a DVD of War Inc, which had been recommended to me months ago. I keep forgetting what I'm looking for when I go DVD shopping but, since that was my sole purpose for being in HMV yesterday (having already bought 5 Centimetres Per Second at Memorabilia), I was pleased to actually find it in their racks. Buying it took rather longer than I'd prefer, as the one cashier on duty was engaged in a lengthy return, but he was soon assisted by a second cashier.
The walk down to Waterloo was complicated slightly by my wonky sense of direction. There's a roundabout on the way, and I chose the wrong exit based on my recollection of a map of the area. The sight of the Westminster Clock Tower at once set me straight. From that point on, the only complications and delays came from dodging tourists on the bridge, and almost getting distracted by the little market on the streets behind the London Eye. When I saw one stall selling Turkish Delight, I resolved to return that way after the movie, and grab some as an impromptu Mothers' Day gift.
Oh, the movie? Right.
Well... I have to admit, I cannot understand why it's had such a critical mauling. OK, perhaps it was inadvisable for Mr Snyder to suggest the film was 'about' female empowerment... but there is an element of empowerment about it. It's basically a modern-day fairy tale, ostensibly set in the past, but with reference to things both futuristic and of alternate realities. Then again, alternate realities play a huge part in the presentation of the film.
The protagonist, known only as Babydoll, is thrown into an asylum by her stepfather, the asylum becomes a mob-owned burlesque club/brothel (think Moulin Rouge, only less classy), and Babydoll convinces four of her fellow 'dancers' - also only ever referred to by nicknames: Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie and Amber - to join her in a bizarre escape attempt. Their 'plan' is woefully vague, but that's part of the point... it's all fantasy, one way or another. The opening narration basically tells you what the film is really about, what it's really showing you... but then the film dedicates itself to distracting you from this with eye-popping battles, from a snowbound dojo through trenches infested with Steampunk Zombie Nazis, to a dragon's nest-castle and finally to a futuristic train that's delivering a bomb to a city.
Up until the final battle, the girls have the advantage of anachronistic high-powered ballistic weapons and incredible blade skills. They have a Mecha (with a pink bunny face painted on its cockpit) going up against biplanes, triplanes and zeppelins. They have a heavy WWII bomber going up against a dragon and its legion of orcs. Then, when trying to steal the bomb (codenamed 'Kitchen Knife', which gives you an idea of the way this fantasy works), they're up against merciless robots who are faster and better armed than they are.
When the first of them goes down - both metaphorically, on the train, and in the unreality of the burlesque club/brothel, there is a surprising sense of loss, considering how loosely the characters have been presented (or maybe that was just my White Knight Complex responding). I saw it coming only moments before it happened - and would have most likely predicted it happening the other way round - so that was shocking enough. The next two are so sudden and shocking that I was left numb for a few minutes.
This fairy tale has a happy ending, but it's not without its sadness and sacrifice... and Babydoll's fate is teased out for so long, I was half expecting (hoping for?) something very different. I loved the film, and will definitely pick it up on DVD, but may try to see it again in the cinema. Considering some of the comments made in reviews, I left the cinema wondering if the critics had even seen the same film. Perhaps it spoke to my imagination, and my appreciation for unrealities... it's hardly a competitor to Inception in the brain-blending catagory and, yes, it borrows heavily from the conventions of anime and videogames, but it's an enjoyable fantasy that barely lets up in its action, and serves as a reminder that we are each in control of our own destinies.
After the movie, I went over to my folks' place for dinner, and to visit my sister and niece (who was wearing the Genki Gear 'Sneaky Monster' t-shirt I bought her, and looked incredibly cute). While I'm sometimes a little concerned by the way everyone seems to talk down to the child (adults using babytalk are just creepy), it's good to see that her own speech is improving - gradually - and she has far less trouble making herself understood these days, even beyond the simple 'yes' or 'no' responses. I even had the opportunity to read her a bedtime story, although she proved reluctant to actually go to bed afterward...
Most of the other movies I've seen recently have been caught - quite serendipitously - on daytime television - Hitchcock's Rope being a prime example. Its stage origins were quite obvious from its simple set (only two rooms were ever used) but it translated well to the screen. A wonderful example of a 'perfect crime' that is anything but, Rope never presents its two main characters as anything other than a psychopath and his lapdog - even their 'friends' know some measure of the truth, without having any clue as to the full extent of the danger it presents. Considering the slow build-up of the film, I was expecting the finale to be... less quiet, shall we say? Nevertheless, it's an excellent film, but I suspect its impact would be that much greater when performed on stage.
I've also - finally - been able to see Quantum of Solace, Daniel Craig's second outing as the new, less charming, more violent and driven Bond. I'd heard that it was lacking in the plot department but, while it does seem to be a continual stream of 'Bond finds informant, learns part of the plot, kills informant, then goes looking for the next one', I suspect the apparent relegation of the movie's main antagonist - the shadowy organisation know as Quantum - to the background was wholly intentional (effectively Bond only uncovers it by chance while pursuing revenge), and reasonably successful. SPECTRE was often all too obvious in the early Bond films, whereas this new threat so far seems to be a partially glimpsed shadow - a true spectre - of its full and terrible extent.
And so we come to Wishmaster 2, which was on late night TV sometime last month. I caught the original ages ago, and somehow seem to have neglected to blog about it but, rubbish as it was, it was much better than this piece of crap. Here's how it works: The villain - 'the Wishmaster' - is a Djinn, sealed away in a large, red jewel (not a lamp) because his granting of wishes is somewhat dubious and because he collects the souls of those whose wishes he grants. When he collects a thousand, the Djinn race will take over the world. Sounds OK, and certainly has potential... but the Wishmaster is a charmless, gravelly-voiced yuppie who doesn't even seem to listen to the wish he's asked to grant. Take, for example, the policeman who encounters him right at the beginning of the sequel. "Freeze!" he says. Somehow, the Djinn takes this to mean "freeze me". It's made all the worse when someone says something completely ridiculous, and the grinning Djinn asks "is that your wish?" when it clearly isn't. The daftest wish was a prison inmate who wanted "to see [his] lawyer fuck himself". I don't know where the SFX people learned their biology, but I am sure it would have been simpler to just have a duplicate of the lawyer turn up... The first film was resolved quite well, but this one was just daft. Way too convenient, and utterly nonsensical. Somehow, two further entries were made in this franchise... though, thankfully, the last one was nine years ago. Hopefully, if some Hollywood moron sees fit to resurrect or reboot this franchise, they'll try to make better use of the concept.
Oh, and, just because I can...
OMG. BEWBS!
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