OK, so I'm a completely crap blogger... Very nearly two full months since my last post, because I've been fairly busy since Christmas (all of which will be explained in another post, whenever I feel like writing it) and generally just not feeling like blogging.
Part of the problem was that there's rather too much to write about in one post, and even thinking about it proved rather daunting. However, now I'm going to follow the advice of my amazing girlfriend - my better half in so many ways - and focus on the question "what do I want/need to write about right now?"
As it turns out, that would be the weird dreams I've been having so far this year. They've been few and far between - only three over the last couple of months - but they have been pretty trippy.
The first - sometime over the Christmas/New Year period - appeared to place me in a group of spies, infiltrating a Nazi base where some kinds of (rocket?) experiments were taking place. The base was concealed in a woodland, and I arrive by truck, in a mixed company of genuine Nazis and spies. One of the other spies and I disabled the base's security systems - concealed within what appeared to be just one of many trees in the forest - while one of the genuine Nazis quibbled our right to enter the base with the guards. By the time the discussion was concluded - in our favour - the gates were opening in such a way as to fool the guards into thinking they'd opened upon normal clearance.
Once inside, we were led to what I can only describe as a 'classroom' with wood panel walls... that is, from the inside, it almost looked like we were inside a wooden shack, though it was actually a concrete bunker of sorts. This was to be where we would observe the experiment via a large video screen on one wall... though the dream didn't actually get that far.
Almost at once, one of the Nazis started causing trouble, ranting that the woman running the project "had obviously seduced the General" who commanded the base. During a tussle, he secretly handed me a note, outing himself as one of the spies (so, clearly, we couldn't be sure who among the Nazis was actually on our side...), then he and his entourage were led outside, enabling the remaining team - all spies and saboteurs - to get safely to work.
While we worked, the woman running the project reprimanded one of the saboteurs for speaking (German) with an English accent - "Next time, wear your Union Jack pin!" - revealing that she, too, was secretly working against the Nazis (so the argument which got the guards, etc.. out of our way was a double-bluff: she had got the gig by seducing the General!).
We had to switch off the lights at several points around the room - the switches didn't correspond with light fittings in a particularly logical way - to enable us to see the video screen properly. I had to stand on a chair to get the last two switches, but then woke up before the story could progress any further...
Then I had a very weird dream on the Sunday night/Monday morning before beginning my third week at my first job of the year... It featured several folks from the office, but in the context of an open-air cooking competition, in which the boss (of the department I had been working in) was trying everything she could think of to convince the judges that my cooking was awful. I don't recall much about it anymore - having failed to take notes on the way to work that morning in favour of reading - but it got quite vicious. Basically, she seemed to pantomime sampling my dishes, then spat it all out, complaining it was disgusting.
I guess the 'rationale' behind that dream - if one can suggest a rationale might exist for something as ephemeral as a dream - is that the department boss had made mention of having appeared on Masterchef, which everyone else chose not to believe since she's full of tall tales and self-aggrandisement. There's also the fact that, when I interviewed for the permanent position I was covering, I was told I was "the strongest candidate" they'd seen, and I got on very well with the team, yet the department boss chose not to hire me.
But that's another blog post ;)
The most recent example, from last night, began as a riff on Game of Thrones (which I've still not seen more than two or three episodes of), where I was planting crops of some kind while Tyrion argued with someone or other I couldn't see. I don't remember what I was planting initially but, when I moved on to a steep bank around a wide, flat, built-upon area, I decided that a good thing to plant was a kind of corn-like crop which produced sugar (it had a name, but I've forgotten it!). I dropped seeds in neat-ish rows, working from the bottom to the top of the incline, until I found that the top had already been planted with a row of quite tall saplings.
Then the weirdness happened, because the seeds I'd just planted all became dark maggots... and they started flooding toward one end of the bank. They congregated at that end for a while because the inclined bank was just cut off, leading to a sheer drop to the ground from any point up the slope. Eventually, either by choice or by being nudged by the seething horde behind them, the maggots started to drop off. Once on the flat ground, they started to surge forward again... toward... a door.
Because, naturally, the slope had become the sofa in my parents' lounge, and they were all heading for the hall of their house. Jumping ahead of them, I saw another, similar-yet-different seething dark mass on the staircase... but these were small beetles, and they were all coming down the stairs.
Where the two swarms drew close to one another, a curved, winding 'no man's land' developed, running the length of the hall. My mother rushed out of the kitchen and started tidying up the lounge - the sofa's cushions were covered with neat rows of maggot faeces, after all - and I followed her example, taking the hoover round the carpet, considering just vacuuming up all the maggots and beetles, but waking up before that actually happened.
So... that's 'Dreams' out of the way. Still to come, we have 'Christmas/New Year', 'Recent Television' and, of course a bit of ranting about 'Work'. I'm only working two days this week (of which yesterday was one), so I should be able to make a bit of headway...
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