Saturday 20 September 2008

Two scary things:

While I still remember it, last night's dream was quite a curious affair. It started off with me going toy shopping with a ladyfriend and, carrying on the grand tradition I've had for many years of finding TransFormers in dreams that I haven't found in real life, I very quickly helped myself to TF: Animated Voyager Optimus Prime (which seems to be the best version out there... if you can find it). My ladyfriend seemed desperate to leave, suggesting that I could make my own way onward (home? elsewhere? who knows?) by bus, allowing her to drive on wherever she needed to go.

I kept putting her off and shushing her, trying to act as though I was too distracted to hear her in an attempt to stop her leaving (a tactic which would most definitely result in a kicked backside, were I to try it in real life), so I could carry on filling my trolley with wondrous toys.

The shop I did not recognise... Certainly not one of the dream shops I've been to before (brighter, above ground... and filled with new toys, rather than G1), so it was a whole new experience for me both in and out of the dream.

But I digress.

When I finally decided I had everything I wanted, I left with my ladyfriend... and promptly stumbled into a scene from Alien vs Predator: Requiem. We must have taken a wrong turn on the route home, because we ended up going through tiny, dark, residential streets... where people were hurriedly sealing themselves indoors or being evacuated.

Because there were facehuggers everywhere.

Ditching the car (God only knows why, but it was a dream after all), we were ushered into a garage and sealed in. With one of those clear plastic screens you occasionally find on large tents or caravans, which was 'sealed' with plastic poppers. I was about to point out that we were going to have some privacy at last until I saw the expression on my ladyfriend's face. Needless to say, she was not happy.

But we stayed there, and were safe, and I woke up having seen no extraterrestrial-wrought devastation... Rather odd.

The second scary thing comes from the brain-melting conversation I had with my sister about her recent boating holiday. She and her husband had invited a recently widowed friend along and he, in turn, had invited his new girlfriend. Or rather, one of them.

She had declined - having been unable to arrange time off work... or perhaps because she's only known him a couple of weeks? - so he made do with keeping in touch with her by phone the whole time.

But even that's not the scary thing.

The scary thing is that, not only does he - by all accounts - have two girlfriends on the go via the wonders of internet dating, only a couple of months after his wife died of cancer... but he's going round saying things like "It's great... it's like being 16 again, only knowing everything I know now!"

I shudder to think.

My experience of him (and his late wife) suggested that he liked to be 'in charge', to the point where he would regularly humiliate his wife in public. Supposedly they were not like that in private, but does that make him any less a prick?

Just goes to show, internet dating only really works for morons.
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