Thought for the day

OK, this is one of mine, and it proves what a complete fascist I can be in the workplace...

"Why is it that the simple solution is so rarely legal?"

Here's the thing: The MD desperately wants to reorganise the department into a North team and a South team. Overall, in terms of pages output, there's very little between North and South. South has fewer magazines, but a larger page count on what it has, North has more mags, but they tend to be smaller. Considering how few we are in Production, it's a recipe for disaster but, under the right circumstances, it would be a reasonably flexible system.

"What are the right circumstances?" I hear you ask...

Well, for starters, no bloody slackers.

Seriously. We have a 'Senior Designer' who recently confessed that 'at his age' he only wanted to do certain things, and palm the rest off on his subordinates. He is not a team player. He's a lazy, middle-aged loser. He doesn't even like half the magazines we produce. He has become exactly what he said he hated about the 'Art Directors' we got rid of months ago. He has resigned once, in a pay dispute, but then bottled out on his last day, and begged for his job back. He's also tried to get the Group Production Manager sacked, because... she's a manager, and he doesn't like not being the ultimate authority in the department. He failed, and was given an ultimatum this weekend - either get with the programme and do as he is told, or leave. Sadly, he chose the former, and he has been informed that the next time he tries anything stupid, he'll be clearing his desk and leaving that same day.

We have a guy who, according to his job title, is a Production Manager. He does as little as possible, as rarely as possible. He is the embodiment of the idea "just enough to get by". He doesn't manage anything. He can't structure his workload, he can't prioritise. He used to let his department - and everyone else - run him. He is spineless, and more concerned that people like him rather than respect him. This runs wholly contrary to getting his job done.

In an ideal world, they could both be kicked out... but Employment Law is on the side of the slacker.

So here's another angle. We have two senior designers, one of whom is good and reliable. If another job title could be dreampt up, the position of 'Senior Designer' could be made redundant, removing one problem.

Additionally, since we have a Group Production Manager, we hardly need a Production Manager... so, rather than bump me up to Production Manager to match him (since we do the same job) why not make Production Manager redundant? He complains about having been effectively demoted, but he never actually behaved as a Production Manager. All he ever did was check supplied artwork and output final pages. If that's all it takes to be a Production Manager, I've been doing that job for about 10K+ less, for the last six years.

Another option would be to move him over to a side-project, and bump another member of staff across to be my counterpart. Easily doable, and this other guy would be infinitely more reliable. Given a bit of training, he'd quickly become adequate. Given a few months, he'd be able to do just about everything it takes to publish a magazine all by himself... which would definitely help him in future.

Problem is, my current counterpart wouldn't be able to do the work required of him on the side-project. Everyone knows this, so the transfer would never be approved, and he'd never accept the job anyway (too much like hard work). And with Employment Law on the side of the slacker, he couldn't be pushed into it and then fired for not doing it properly.

It's really rather disheartening.

So many obvious ways to get rid of people who underperform (and are happy to do so), none of them legal.

And what really pisses me off is that Mr Senior Designer, who threatened to leave if he wasn't given a pay rise, is actually getting one in a couple of months. OK, it may not be all he was hoping for, but it's the principle of the thing. Why give the lazy bastard a pay rise when he's admitted to underperforming? There are plenty of others more deserving, and it supports the suggestion that if one kicks up enough of a fuss, one will get a pay rise... Which is exactly the sort of thinking we need to stamp out.

Damn, you can just hear those jackboots, can't you?

In other news, I popped off to Toys'R'Us after work, and picked up one of a very few TF Classics Jetfires. They actually had three Cryo Scourges on the shelves, too... And, months after they disappeared from the shelves, my friend/colleague was able to get an Ice Age 2 electronic Skrat. The look on her face as she burrowed through the other stuff on the shelves - once she'd caught a glimpse of what might, just might have been Skrat - was one to treasure, as was the look of triumphant joy as she clutched to her chest the Skrat she thought she'd missed out on forever.

I love moments like that.