"Inertia...

...is the property of an object to remain constant in velocity unless acted upon by an outside force."

Lately, I feel as though inertia is the only thing getting my through a day at work: I arrive in the office, sit down to work, and I don't stop working till it's done. That's my day. Every day.

It's rather depressing to think that I used to enjoy my work, but now it's just a way of filling eight hours of my day.

So much of it now is just fire control, because the salespeople somehow manage to sell to clients who have been blacklisted by Accounts (as in, they didn't pay their bill, we took them to court, they won, we lost money). I didn't sign up to be an accountant, but head office does not see the need to employ sufficient Accounting staff when Production can be pushed into monitoring debt, and when the salespeople can be forced to collect on those debts.

The top dogs in this company must believe Production staff are sorely underutilised, if we can double as accountants and run a vast website made up of multiple feeds from other companies all over London. Never mind that some Production departments regularly work till midnight on press days. We're obviously not busy enough.

I'd like to say it wouldn't seem so bad if it weren't for the idiots we do have in Production (largely inherited, rather than employed by choice), but that's probably not true.

w00t!

One thing I forgot to make mention of yesterday is the TransFormers pop-up book my friend/colleague found for me in a charity shop. Now, personally, I love pop-up books of all kinds simply because of the complex engineering that goes into making them 'pop-up' (and, let's not forget, do all kinds of other clever acrobatics). To have found a TF book that's in very good condition (bar the missing cut-out models) was pretty special. My favourite pop-up book (which I'll have to go searching for now I've remembered it) was based around the movie Tron, and featured some incredibly clever cardboard tricks. Other noteworthy 'pop-up' items in my strange collection include the poster that came with the limited edition Saturn version of Cyberbots... it features Mech-Gouki facing off against the robotic octopus piloted by Devilot, in the sea, with a couple of people in a dinghy in the mid-ground.

Really must give pop-up book making a try one weekend... must be a fascinating job.

In other news, following my lucky find of Classics Jetfire at TRU yesterday, I arrived home today to find that my order from the TFCC had arrived. Landquake and Skyfall are molded largely in transparent red and blue plastic, with opaque red, blue and grey making up the rest. Landquake is a repaint of the twin-barrelled tank mold from Bruticus Maximus, Skyfall is the plane loosely based on the A10 from Superion Maximus. Each comes with a lenticular card which is, at once, a certificate of authenticity and a profile for the character. Skyfall's shows his transformation in three stages, while Landquake's somehow manages to be 3D. Overall, for $20 a piece (approx £10 at the current exchange rate) they're both bargains.

I also snagged an Armorhide, to repaint as Huffer. Strange that I should have to order from overseas for a 'Scout' class figure... but he was always impossible to find in shops over here, either because he was short-packed, or because he's actually an extremely cool model... or a combination of both.

That's always assuming he was ever released over here... which isn't entirely certain.

Thought for the day

OK, this is one of mine, and it proves what a complete fascist I can be in the workplace...

"Why is it that the simple solution is so rarely legal?"

Here's the thing: The MD desperately wants to reorganise the department into a North team and a South team. Overall, in terms of pages output, there's very little between North and South. South has fewer magazines, but a larger page count on what it has, North has more mags, but they tend to be smaller. Considering how few we are in Production, it's a recipe for disaster but, under the right circumstances, it would be a reasonably flexible system.

"What are the right circumstances?" I hear you ask...

Well, for starters, no bloody slackers.

Seriously. We have a 'Senior Designer' who recently confessed that 'at his age' he only wanted to do certain things, and palm the rest off on his subordinates. He is not a team player. He's a lazy, middle-aged loser. He doesn't even like half the magazines we produce. He has become exactly what he said he hated about the 'Art Directors' we got rid of months ago. He has resigned once, in a pay dispute, but then bottled out on his last day, and begged for his job back. He's also tried to get the Group Production Manager sacked, because... she's a manager, and he doesn't like not being the ultimate authority in the department. He failed, and was given an ultimatum this weekend - either get with the programme and do as he is told, or leave. Sadly, he chose the former, and he has been informed that the next time he tries anything stupid, he'll be clearing his desk and leaving that same day.

We have a guy who, according to his job title, is a Production Manager. He does as little as possible, as rarely as possible. He is the embodiment of the idea "just enough to get by". He doesn't manage anything. He can't structure his workload, he can't prioritise. He used to let his department - and everyone else - run him. He is spineless, and more concerned that people like him rather than respect him. This runs wholly contrary to getting his job done.

In an ideal world, they could both be kicked out... but Employment Law is on the side of the slacker.

So here's another angle. We have two senior designers, one of whom is good and reliable. If another job title could be dreampt up, the position of 'Senior Designer' could be made redundant, removing one problem.

Additionally, since we have a Group Production Manager, we hardly need a Production Manager... so, rather than bump me up to Production Manager to match him (since we do the same job) why not make Production Manager redundant? He complains about having been effectively demoted, but he never actually behaved as a Production Manager. All he ever did was check supplied artwork and output final pages. If that's all it takes to be a Production Manager, I've been doing that job for about 10K+ less, for the last six years.

Another option would be to move him over to a side-project, and bump another member of staff across to be my counterpart. Easily doable, and this other guy would be infinitely more reliable. Given a bit of training, he'd quickly become adequate. Given a few months, he'd be able to do just about everything it takes to publish a magazine all by himself... which would definitely help him in future.

Problem is, my current counterpart wouldn't be able to do the work required of him on the side-project. Everyone knows this, so the transfer would never be approved, and he'd never accept the job anyway (too much like hard work). And with Employment Law on the side of the slacker, he couldn't be pushed into it and then fired for not doing it properly.

It's really rather disheartening.

So many obvious ways to get rid of people who underperform (and are happy to do so), none of them legal.

And what really pisses me off is that Mr Senior Designer, who threatened to leave if he wasn't given a pay rise, is actually getting one in a couple of months. OK, it may not be all he was hoping for, but it's the principle of the thing. Why give the lazy bastard a pay rise when he's admitted to underperforming? There are plenty of others more deserving, and it supports the suggestion that if one kicks up enough of a fuss, one will get a pay rise... Which is exactly the sort of thinking we need to stamp out.

Damn, you can just hear those jackboots, can't you?

In other news, I popped off to Toys'R'Us after work, and picked up one of a very few TF Classics Jetfires. They actually had three Cryo Scourges on the shelves, too... And, months after they disappeared from the shelves, my friend/colleague was able to get an Ice Age 2 electronic Skrat. The look on her face as she burrowed through the other stuff on the shelves - once she'd caught a glimpse of what might, just might have been Skrat - was one to treasure, as was the look of triumphant joy as she clutched to her chest the Skrat she thought she'd missed out on forever.

I love moments like that.

Hm. Upgrades. - The Sequel!

And another thing, internet security package users: If your chosen package allows you to set up a 'Startup User', removing the need for one to log in upon startup, and thus saving the truly ugly amount of time it takes to respond to the submission of one's password, and you purposely choose not to set up a 'Startup User'... Is it not mind-bendingly annoying when the upgrade does this on your behalf, without asking?

I mean, come on. Saving time is one thing, but allowing anyone in the household to switch on one's computer and access the internet without hindrance is wholly contrary to the idea of 'Internet Security'.

Am I wrong?


(Happy Valentine's Day, lovebirds of t3h i|\|+3rw3bs)

Hm. Upgrades.

Does anyone else find that, for example, when your chosen 'internet security package' offers you an upgrade, the damn thing plays shuffle with settings such as which cookies to accept and which to reject?

I only ask because, earlier today, I had just such an 'upgrade opportunity', clicked my acceptance of the kind and generous offer, only to find I could no longer log into certain sites - such as my blog - because they were suddenly in my "Always Reject Cookies" list.

Honestly, it was easy to fix, but why did it happen?

Just thought I'd ask.

"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"

By which excellent Steven Wright quote we return to the continuing saga of my silly little ear infection.

When I returned to my GP last week, she reported that the swab she took from my left ear - the one that's still not back to normal hearing - showed no sign of infection. Um. Does that mean, perhaps, that she didn't do it right?

I'm no longer taking antibiotics (good thing, too, as they were wrecking my stomach), but I'm supposed to continue with the decongestant and the ear drops... but only in the right ear, which is still rather inflamed. I've also been referred to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist but, as the doctor said, it will probably have all cleared up before I get the letter detailing my appointment. She also said it would still be worth going, because they could check my eardrum for perforations.

Nice.

Of course, considering I work in an open-plan germ factory, it should come as no surprise that I became ill again this weekend. All through Friday, I was developing a lovely cough and I spent most of Saturday and Sunday bedridden and feverish, largely unable to muster the strength to eat. It occurred to me, during this time, that following my GP's instructions and completing my decongestant prescription wasn't really going to help. After initial resistance from my folks (who said it was simply "an uphill struggle against the germs"), they eventually agreed. Yesterday morning, I put the decongestant on hold, and started taking an off-the-shelf cold and flu remedy... And slowly started feeling better.

Until today... When I woke up with a thumping headache, chills, and occasional nods toward nausea. That managed to clear up during the day, but the chills are certainly back, and I'm coughing more today than I was yesterday.

On the upside, while I've been feeling human, I've been able to get a bit of reading done - something I rarely seem to have time for when I'm healthy - getting through another couple of chapters of Greg Bear's Songs of Earth and Power, and watched the fourth episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series, which is still remarkably good television.

I've also received my first newsletter from the TransFormers Collectors' Club, bound into an issue of Master Collector. I'm in two minds about both: Master Collector the publication shows how small an operation the parent company really is - it's two-colour, printed on newspaper stock, 24 pages long, and comprised mainly of classified lineage ads. On the other hand, it must be exactly what the subscribers want, or it wouldn't exist, and they do offer a free 30-word ad per month with the subscription. The TFCC newsletter is 4-colour throughout, on nice, glossy paper, and my only real complaint about the first issue I've seen is the use of red text on a black-to-white gradient fill background. Ouch. I mean, really. Design no-no, guys. The six-page comic at the back is pretty cool, the character profiles seem to fit quite well, and what little editorial there is suits the magazine well enough (apart from the aforementioned design gaffe). It was, and still is, a very cool Christmas present, and I'm looking forward to receiving my first order...

I have heard that things at work haven't been too good in my absence. This is nothing unusual and, in this instance, much of the shit would have hit the fan had I been there or not... but the extent of the shit and the effects of the fan are far greater than the usual run-of-the-mill problems in that office.

The darkest of times we ever had were when Sales were running the flat-plans to their magazines. Now, thanks to a reshuffle dreampt up by - of all people - the MD (who used to be a Salesman and is, therefore, obviously an expert on Production), Sales will be getting the flat-plan back, and the Production department will be split (unevenly) North and South, when we barely have enough staff to cover everything as one team. Letting folks gain a closer affinity with their titles is one thing... effectively halving the workforce behind them is quite another.

And with the potential for problems inherent in asking Sales to maintain their flat-plans ("let's go up by 16 pages on press day! Hurrah! And let's move everything around so all the work that's been done has to be scrapped, because we don't have to stay late to finish the magazines like those suckers in Production! And let's make 9 different versions of the flat-plan in one day, just so it's all perfectly clear! Oh, we're so professional!") or, more likely, their unwillingness and/or inability to maintain their own flat-plans (as already evidenced by the number of times they ask for a few simple changes and then a new flippin' printout because they don't know what they've just done), and the whole thing is likely to collapse.

I have suspicions about this. Maybe I'm paranoid, but it smacks of a way of removing a very efficient and hard-working Production Manager without allowing them time to resign in disgust. My abiding impression of our Publishing Director is that she wants my boss gone (having opined, for example, that all of the problems in Production are down the the way the Manager runs the department), and I know the MD is afraid that my boss will resign. Allowing the department to fail this catastrophically (and it will be catastrophic) under what is still, ostensibly, the Production Manager's leadership gives them both a more mutually acceptable situation. What I can't understand - with either of them - is why they'd want that, rather than to fix the company...

Office politics are not that far removed from playground politics.

Of the things that would have been better if I'd been there today, the main problem has been that one of the designers had to take over my work, and decided to do it almost opposite to the way he'd been told. That, and not keeping things in good order, so others could follow the progress.

Oh, well. I specialise in fixing that sort of crap... Wish I was in better health, but there we go.

Outside this shell

OK, I'm turning into a YouTube addict. But really, you must see this.

I heard about this years ago, but didn't believe it because I was sure I'd seen every episode of the more recent Muppet Show. This proves otherwise. Darn it.

A real earful

I began to get a little depressed this weekend. My left ear still isn't working properly because of this bloody infection, and I'm on my own while my folks are house-sitting for my sister and her husband while they're on holiday. My throat hasn't properly cleared up either, but that seems to be in common with just about everyone at work who's had this bug.

I've tried to keep myself entertained, though. Watched some movies, lots of websurfing, listened to some music on and off. Even managed to listen through both parts of a BBC Audiobook of a Doctor Who novel, The Stone Rose, read by none other than David Tennant, which was presented free with two issues of Radio Times a few weeks back.

Not much else to report, but I did want to put up another YouTube link: The Beatles vs. Nine Inch Nails - Come Closer Together which, against all reason, sounds pretty good.

Tomorrow, I'm off to see my GP again. Hopefully she can prescribe me a different antibiotic to get this ear sorted. Work is slightly more stressful than average when I can't hear properly.