Over the last couple of years - while I've had a bit more spare time on my hands - I've noticed something odd. Every so often, on a whim, I decide to take a shopping trip. Whether I'm after something specific, or just hoping to find something new in the toy aisles, the results of the journey can be accurately predicted by the troubles I encounter along the way.
For example, if the journey is beset by traffic jams, signal failures or, in particular, bad weather, chances are I'm not going to find what I'm looking for.
It's just coincidence, obviously, but it really does happen every time. One particular route (or set of routes) I take fairly regularly is the one that gets me to Brent Cross Toys'R'Us and/or from there to the Friern Bridge branch of Smyths. On that route, there have been occasions where the journey was an absolute dream, and there have been occasions when there are freak traffic problems (OK, I'm talking about the North Circular here, so freakish traffic is pretty much par for the course... what I mean is more freakish than normal), and occasions where a perfectly pleasant, sunny day suddenly turns and becomes progressively stormier as I go. Thing is, by the time it starts getting bad, I'm pretty much committed to the journey, so part of me is basically just accepting it as punishment for my poor decision-making.
Making it all the weirder, it is often the case that whatever problems there are on the way out, things improve either on the way back home, or when I switch to a more productive destination.
Take today, for example - the weekend became stormy, this morning was pretty crummy, and it wasn't looking much better when I left work (early - only a half day today!). Nevertheless, since I'd received the Smyths catalogue on Saturday, and since it looked as though there might be new stuff on the shelves, I decided to pay them a visit. While I was on the train in the afternoon, the weather seemed to improve... as far as Brent Cross. From then on, the wind rose and the clouds started returning. Lo, and behold, they had precisely nothing new (that I was interested in). Unperturbed, I walked down to the nearby Tesco... the wind was still high, but the sun was coming out again... and I found one of the things I was looking for.
On the way back home, I stopped off at Brent Cross TRU because I'd recently received a book of their vouchers. Wouldn't you know it, they had even more new stuff (strangely located only at the front of the shop - the regular shelves at the back featured the same - months old - stock). Technically, I didn't spend much more money that needed - only one extra bus fare because of the stop-off on the way home - but I could have saved myself time and strife in the journey... though I wouldn't have got everything I ended up with today.
Swings and roundabouts...
Monday, 24 September 2012
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Dredd Tidings
I'm actually a little surprised that I forgot all about this last weekend: I went to see Dredd 3D, a new film based around the main player from zarjaz Brit-comic 2000AD, Judge Dredd.
What reminded me to correct this failure was that the 1995 Stallone movie (very) loosely based on the same character just happened to be on TV tonight. I believe I saw it on video (or possibly on TV)... at least, I'm fairly certain I didn't see that abomination on the big screen... either way, I've seen it once before and, aside from refreshing my memory for the sake of comparison, there really was no reason to watch it again.
Which is to say, there was no reason at all to watch it again, because there's no comparison.
The '95 movie was a waste of celluloid on many levels, not least that Stallone - either through personal ego or studio interference - only wore the helmet for about 20 minutes of the film, while the whole point of the character was that he was a faceless instrument of extreme law. In many ways, it was typical of action flicks, and particularly superhero/comic book flicks around that time, in that it missed the point of the source material and presented itself as a big blockbuster. There were interesting elements - such as Judge Rico, a man even more extreme in his interpretation of the law that Dredd, who turns his back on any concept of justice and then decides to create an army of clones to replace the Judges - but, by and large, the story bore little or no relation to the comics. It appeared to be a 'scene-setting' movie, intended to launch a franchise... but no follow-ups were ever made.
Probably a good thing... if only because it meant Dredd 3D didn't have to work as hard to cast off any lingering memories of that original travesty.
The new movie - starring Karl Urban, who keeps his helmet on all the way through (aside from the very beginning, when you see his silhouette putting the helmet on) - has apparently suffered by comparison to an Indonesian film from last year, called The Raid. Not having seen that film, I took Dredd 3D on its own merits... and kinda liked it, with reservations.
I hadn't realised beforehand that it had been classified as Cert-18 in the UK - partly, I guess, because I just couldn't believe that anyone would make a proper, grown-up film based on a comic, particularly in the light of the poor reception of the 'grown-up' version of Marvel's The Punisher. What I walked into was a bloodbath worthy of a horror movie. Strangely, even the Slo-Mo sequences, where the violence was rendered in intricate detail, weren't especially disturbing because they weren't particularly believable. Movie violence is fake - everyone knows that - but it works because it's done as sleight-of-hand. Slow it down, and all you see is obvious CGI trickery.
On the flipside, the sequences featuring trainee Judge Anderson 'interrogating' a suspect went a lot further and got a lot nastier than I'd expected. I can't say it was a pleasant surprise, even in the context, but it was impressive, and a very bold bit of movie-making.
There wasn't a whole lot of plot to it, but the idea behind the movie was to reintroduce Dredd and Megacity One through the eyes of a young rookie, following Dredd on a 'normal day'. This rookie just happens to be the mutant long-time fans of 2000AD will know as Psi-Judge Cassandra Anderson. Considering the way Anderson is portrayed in the comics, I wasn't too sure about Olivia Thirlby (she's not exactly a blonde bombshell) but, having seen the film now, I think she was a brilliant choice. Having her as the emotional core of the film, and following her arc rather than Dredd's, was another brilliant choice.
Also, where the '95 movie featured a pointless comedy sidekick (OK, he was intended to facilitate Dredd's 'emotional journey' through the film - a joke in itself), Dredd 3D is largely dark and humourless, though not entirely without comic relief - it's just minimal and better placed.
As a starting point, Dredd 3D was excellent, but it does suffer the malady of virtually every 'first chapter' movie - it doesn't really go anywhere. Let's just hope this one does turn into a franchise, because this interpretation of Dredd and his world is very deserving of further exploration.
What reminded me to correct this failure was that the 1995 Stallone movie (very) loosely based on the same character just happened to be on TV tonight. I believe I saw it on video (or possibly on TV)... at least, I'm fairly certain I didn't see that abomination on the big screen... either way, I've seen it once before and, aside from refreshing my memory for the sake of comparison, there really was no reason to watch it again.
Which is to say, there was no reason at all to watch it again, because there's no comparison.
The '95 movie was a waste of celluloid on many levels, not least that Stallone - either through personal ego or studio interference - only wore the helmet for about 20 minutes of the film, while the whole point of the character was that he was a faceless instrument of extreme law. In many ways, it was typical of action flicks, and particularly superhero/comic book flicks around that time, in that it missed the point of the source material and presented itself as a big blockbuster. There were interesting elements - such as Judge Rico, a man even more extreme in his interpretation of the law that Dredd, who turns his back on any concept of justice and then decides to create an army of clones to replace the Judges - but, by and large, the story bore little or no relation to the comics. It appeared to be a 'scene-setting' movie, intended to launch a franchise... but no follow-ups were ever made.
Probably a good thing... if only because it meant Dredd 3D didn't have to work as hard to cast off any lingering memories of that original travesty.
The new movie - starring Karl Urban, who keeps his helmet on all the way through (aside from the very beginning, when you see his silhouette putting the helmet on) - has apparently suffered by comparison to an Indonesian film from last year, called The Raid. Not having seen that film, I took Dredd 3D on its own merits... and kinda liked it, with reservations.
I hadn't realised beforehand that it had been classified as Cert-18 in the UK - partly, I guess, because I just couldn't believe that anyone would make a proper, grown-up film based on a comic, particularly in the light of the poor reception of the 'grown-up' version of Marvel's The Punisher. What I walked into was a bloodbath worthy of a horror movie. Strangely, even the Slo-Mo sequences, where the violence was rendered in intricate detail, weren't especially disturbing because they weren't particularly believable. Movie violence is fake - everyone knows that - but it works because it's done as sleight-of-hand. Slow it down, and all you see is obvious CGI trickery.
On the flipside, the sequences featuring trainee Judge Anderson 'interrogating' a suspect went a lot further and got a lot nastier than I'd expected. I can't say it was a pleasant surprise, even in the context, but it was impressive, and a very bold bit of movie-making.
There wasn't a whole lot of plot to it, but the idea behind the movie was to reintroduce Dredd and Megacity One through the eyes of a young rookie, following Dredd on a 'normal day'. This rookie just happens to be the mutant long-time fans of 2000AD will know as Psi-Judge Cassandra Anderson. Considering the way Anderson is portrayed in the comics, I wasn't too sure about Olivia Thirlby (she's not exactly a blonde bombshell) but, having seen the film now, I think she was a brilliant choice. Having her as the emotional core of the film, and following her arc rather than Dredd's, was another brilliant choice.
Also, where the '95 movie featured a pointless comedy sidekick (OK, he was intended to facilitate Dredd's 'emotional journey' through the film - a joke in itself), Dredd 3D is largely dark and humourless, though not entirely without comic relief - it's just minimal and better placed.
As a starting point, Dredd 3D was excellent, but it does suffer the malady of virtually every 'first chapter' movie - it doesn't really go anywhere. Let's just hope this one does turn into a franchise, because this interpretation of Dredd and his world is very deserving of further exploration.
Continuing 'Gainful' Employment
It is at once heartening and frustrating that I worked yet another full week (at two different jobs) last week. Heartening because, hey, validation: I'm a workaholic (according to my GP), and going into an office for a day of work proves (to me) that I am a worthwhile person. Being praised for that work reinforces that proof, and being called back repeatedly pretty much cements it.
Settling in to two jobs is proving tricky but, let's face it, I've only been trying for two weeks. Surely it's to be expected that I'd wake up on Thursday unsure as to which job I'd be heading to, then wake up on Friday convinced it was Saturday (switched my alarm off at about 5.30am, but thankfully realised my mistake and switched it back on again before drifting back to sleep) only to go to bed convinced it was only Thursday, and that I'd have to wake up for work the next morning.
I am actually going back to regular job number two on Monday, though. Pretty sure that'll be the last day for a while, but who can tell..? I'm starting to think they're calling me back just for my reassuring presence.
Yes, I really just said that.
Not sure I believe it, though...
...Even though I have had emails from one of my part-time-colleagues saying how much they miss me on the two days I'm not available, or the day after they (reluctantly) admit that there's not really enough work to make my presence worthwhile for the time being.
Last week was also notable in that I was providing holiday cover for the person I'd normally be working with... So I was all alone, working on a table of mostly Salespeople... finishing off projects (a) on a ridiculously tight time-scale because people naturally only get their shit together at the last minute and (b) which had be started by this other person. Point 'a' is simple enough - just a case of assigning priorities (or having priorities assigned) and approaching the work logically. Point 'b' is frustrating to me because other people - even in the same line of work as me, with a similar approach to the work, and a similar work ethic - don't tend to do things the way I'd do them and, consequently, I waste far too much time getting my head around the way a template has been designed before actually getting to work on the document.
Combine point 'a' and point 'b', and things get a little more complicated. Then factor in that some of the Salespeople want 'design input', and even this new, laid-back me is itching to give someone a slap.
I've probably written at length about the creative pretensions of some of the Salespeople I've worked with over the years, so it honestly came as no surprise... All that really happened, last week, is that I was thrown into it without my usual buffer, sitting between me and the Salespeople. And here's how that went...
Day 1: Started work on the most logical 'first job' - one of the two most urgent tasks, and the only one of the two for which I had all the necessary materials. Salesperson for 'the other most urgent task' sees this, as starts complaining bitterly that I should be working on her stuff. She asks when I want the text for her document, and whether she should feed it to me piecemeal. I express a preference for the whole thing in one hit (that tends to make it easier to actually complete the task in one sitting). "That'll take about an hour," says she, as if that should present a problem. I shrug my acceptance. Further complaining occurs later, as she insists that I'm there on this day because she's paying for my presence out of her budget, and that her colleague (on the project I'd begun the day with) had only booked me for the second day. This is factually inaccurate: I was booked for both days on Monday, and the necessity for my presence was only discussed with the other Salesperson, not the one who was complaining. Text for her second document materialised mid-to-late afternoon. Heated debate with this most vocal Salesperson over the 'design' of one of her documents because she changes her mind about what she wants every time I present proofs to be checked. She says things like "I want it to look designed", but cheerfully admits that she can't be bothered to explain what that means. Helpfully gives examples of how she wants it to look like... a different example in response to every batch of proofs. Several projects were completed, including the most pressing document for the whinge-bag.
Day 2: Again, started working on the most logical 'first job' - specifically the tail end of the last thing I'd got to on Day 1. Whinge-bag still trying to dominate my time, but no longer discussing who's paying for my time. Major clash for time between her third(!) document and her colleague's second despite spending most of the day on her stuff and fitting in bits and bobs of her colleagues in the lulls (and over lunch). Amendments palmed off on another salesperson because her time was far too precious. Later reconsidered, much to my frustration. She speaks in terms of implied reverence for Design/Designers, yet in a tone of absolute contempt... And only at the very end of the day does she notice an important aspect of the base template - which has informed much of the layout thusfar: the artwork is offset from the centre of the page, and has wider borders at the top/left than it does bottom/right. Insists that she wants it centred, despite the fact that the base template - designed by the woman I'm covering - must have been approved at least two days ago. At about 5.30, I start to adjust the template and refit the document accordingly. At precisely 5.35, she asks if it's ready yet... and I'm forced to point out that I'm basically having to re-do the layout of every page. Meanwhile, her less obnoxious colleague is insisting that some progress be made on her next most important task. I've done some, I show that to her and make some minor adjustments on the fly, agreeing to do most of the actual 'design' - the fitting and styling - on Monday. Finalise the mouthy one's third document, and prepare print versions and email versions. Email them to three relevant people around the table, then have to explain what the difference is, despite adding explanatory suffixes to the filenames ('_print.pdf' and '_email.pdf' are not self-explanatory enough? The difference in filesize (approx 700k versus about 6Mb) doesn't offer a clue?).
My favourite part of these two days was when Ms. Precious, while complaining about the look of one of her projects, said "I know you're not a designer, but... You're not a designer, are you?"... to the guy who has, thusfar, designed reports, show guides, badges and advertisements for this company.
I know, I pretty much ask for that kind of thing to happen by steadfastly denying that I'm a designer...
I don't sell myself as a designer because that's not my skill-set. For most of my working life, I've been fixing the mistakes designers make... This has enabled me to work as a designer and, to some extent/in some respects, better than many people who do sell themselves as designers.
Ever the diplomat, I sneered slightly, and said "I've doubled as a designer..."
It only gets worse when I spend time on the job as it was specified to me, point out a lack of text for certain sections, and only then learn that those sections are being dropped because the whinge-bag "got bored typing, couldn't be bothered finishing it off, and so decided not to offer those this year."
Classy, huh?
Had a friend over today, to show off some of the big Wii games from the last year or so. He was most interested in seeing Pandora's Tower and Project Zero 2, but I did manage to squeeze in some of The Last Story as well. He'd actually traded in his own Wii for a Kindle, reminding me how weird I am for never trading in or otherwise disposing of my old hardware. Aside from my Wii and PC, I have a Sega Saturn and Sam Coupé (which are still occasionally used), an Atari Jaguar, an Amiga, and miscellaneous other bits and bobs that are hidden away. He also brought his Nintendo 3DS, and showed off Kid Icarus, which plays kind of like a souped-up Space Harrier (or Sin & Punishment)... The 3D effect works particularly well in the flight sections, but it does get tiring for the eyes. Didn't actually get a great deal of game-playing done because I was rabbiting for the first hour or so of his visit, and showing off some of the documents I've designed and laid out in their final printed form... all of which look pretty darned good...
And then, to round off this post, a brief mention of this week's Doctor Who... possibly the most satisfying of this group of five 'movie-style' episodes (so far), even though it very much left me wanting more - all these odd little details that were glossed over, and it felt as though this was the first proper lead-in to what might happen later in the series. Quite intriguing stuff... and certainly the most truly movie-like of the episodes so far. Last week's was good... but still didn't quite live up to the 'movie-like' hype the BBC have been spinning about this group.
Settling in to two jobs is proving tricky but, let's face it, I've only been trying for two weeks. Surely it's to be expected that I'd wake up on Thursday unsure as to which job I'd be heading to, then wake up on Friday convinced it was Saturday (switched my alarm off at about 5.30am, but thankfully realised my mistake and switched it back on again before drifting back to sleep) only to go to bed convinced it was only Thursday, and that I'd have to wake up for work the next morning.
I am actually going back to regular job number two on Monday, though. Pretty sure that'll be the last day for a while, but who can tell..? I'm starting to think they're calling me back just for my reassuring presence.
Yes, I really just said that.
Not sure I believe it, though...
...Even though I have had emails from one of my part-time-colleagues saying how much they miss me on the two days I'm not available, or the day after they (reluctantly) admit that there's not really enough work to make my presence worthwhile for the time being.
Last week was also notable in that I was providing holiday cover for the person I'd normally be working with... So I was all alone, working on a table of mostly Salespeople... finishing off projects (a) on a ridiculously tight time-scale because people naturally only get their shit together at the last minute and (b) which had be started by this other person. Point 'a' is simple enough - just a case of assigning priorities (or having priorities assigned) and approaching the work logically. Point 'b' is frustrating to me because other people - even in the same line of work as me, with a similar approach to the work, and a similar work ethic - don't tend to do things the way I'd do them and, consequently, I waste far too much time getting my head around the way a template has been designed before actually getting to work on the document.
Combine point 'a' and point 'b', and things get a little more complicated. Then factor in that some of the Salespeople want 'design input', and even this new, laid-back me is itching to give someone a slap.
I've probably written at length about the creative pretensions of some of the Salespeople I've worked with over the years, so it honestly came as no surprise... All that really happened, last week, is that I was thrown into it without my usual buffer, sitting between me and the Salespeople. And here's how that went...
Day 1: Started work on the most logical 'first job' - one of the two most urgent tasks, and the only one of the two for which I had all the necessary materials. Salesperson for 'the other most urgent task' sees this, as starts complaining bitterly that I should be working on her stuff. She asks when I want the text for her document, and whether she should feed it to me piecemeal. I express a preference for the whole thing in one hit (that tends to make it easier to actually complete the task in one sitting). "That'll take about an hour," says she, as if that should present a problem. I shrug my acceptance. Further complaining occurs later, as she insists that I'm there on this day because she's paying for my presence out of her budget, and that her colleague (on the project I'd begun the day with) had only booked me for the second day. This is factually inaccurate: I was booked for both days on Monday, and the necessity for my presence was only discussed with the other Salesperson, not the one who was complaining. Text for her second document materialised mid-to-late afternoon. Heated debate with this most vocal Salesperson over the 'design' of one of her documents because she changes her mind about what she wants every time I present proofs to be checked. She says things like "I want it to look designed", but cheerfully admits that she can't be bothered to explain what that means. Helpfully gives examples of how she wants it to look like... a different example in response to every batch of proofs. Several projects were completed, including the most pressing document for the whinge-bag.
Day 2: Again, started working on the most logical 'first job' - specifically the tail end of the last thing I'd got to on Day 1. Whinge-bag still trying to dominate my time, but no longer discussing who's paying for my time. Major clash for time between her third(!) document and her colleague's second despite spending most of the day on her stuff and fitting in bits and bobs of her colleagues in the lulls (and over lunch). Amendments palmed off on another salesperson because her time was far too precious. Later reconsidered, much to my frustration. She speaks in terms of implied reverence for Design/Designers, yet in a tone of absolute contempt... And only at the very end of the day does she notice an important aspect of the base template - which has informed much of the layout thusfar: the artwork is offset from the centre of the page, and has wider borders at the top/left than it does bottom/right. Insists that she wants it centred, despite the fact that the base template - designed by the woman I'm covering - must have been approved at least two days ago. At about 5.30, I start to adjust the template and refit the document accordingly. At precisely 5.35, she asks if it's ready yet... and I'm forced to point out that I'm basically having to re-do the layout of every page. Meanwhile, her less obnoxious colleague is insisting that some progress be made on her next most important task. I've done some, I show that to her and make some minor adjustments on the fly, agreeing to do most of the actual 'design' - the fitting and styling - on Monday. Finalise the mouthy one's third document, and prepare print versions and email versions. Email them to three relevant people around the table, then have to explain what the difference is, despite adding explanatory suffixes to the filenames ('_print.pdf' and '_email.pdf' are not self-explanatory enough? The difference in filesize (approx 700k versus about 6Mb) doesn't offer a clue?).
My favourite part of these two days was when Ms. Precious, while complaining about the look of one of her projects, said "I know you're not a designer, but... You're not a designer, are you?"... to the guy who has, thusfar, designed reports, show guides, badges and advertisements for this company.
I know, I pretty much ask for that kind of thing to happen by steadfastly denying that I'm a designer...
I don't sell myself as a designer because that's not my skill-set. For most of my working life, I've been fixing the mistakes designers make... This has enabled me to work as a designer and, to some extent/in some respects, better than many people who do sell themselves as designers.
Ever the diplomat, I sneered slightly, and said "I've doubled as a designer..."
It only gets worse when I spend time on the job as it was specified to me, point out a lack of text for certain sections, and only then learn that those sections are being dropped because the whinge-bag "got bored typing, couldn't be bothered finishing it off, and so decided not to offer those this year."
Classy, huh?
Had a friend over today, to show off some of the big Wii games from the last year or so. He was most interested in seeing Pandora's Tower and Project Zero 2, but I did manage to squeeze in some of The Last Story as well. He'd actually traded in his own Wii for a Kindle, reminding me how weird I am for never trading in or otherwise disposing of my old hardware. Aside from my Wii and PC, I have a Sega Saturn and Sam Coupé (which are still occasionally used), an Atari Jaguar, an Amiga, and miscellaneous other bits and bobs that are hidden away. He also brought his Nintendo 3DS, and showed off Kid Icarus, which plays kind of like a souped-up Space Harrier (or Sin & Punishment)... The 3D effect works particularly well in the flight sections, but it does get tiring for the eyes. Didn't actually get a great deal of game-playing done because I was rabbiting for the first hour or so of his visit, and showing off some of the documents I've designed and laid out in their final printed form... all of which look pretty darned good...
And then, to round off this post, a brief mention of this week's Doctor Who... possibly the most satisfying of this group of five 'movie-style' episodes (so far), even though it very much left me wanting more - all these odd little details that were glossed over, and it felt as though this was the first proper lead-in to what might happen later in the series. Quite intriguing stuff... and certainly the most truly movie-like of the episodes so far. Last week's was good... but still didn't quite live up to the 'movie-like' hype the BBC have been spinning about this group.
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