Monday, 30 August 2010

Woot! Incoming!

Just had an email from Robot Kingdom, letting me know that my Crossfire upgrade sets are on their way... Considering the disappointment I had with the last company I ordered them from, I was a little reluctant to order from a company based in China, but I've used them before (I think) and found them very efficient. It's taken FansProject quite some time to get these sets produced - not to mention the 'in production' error that forced them to redesign part/parts at the last minute... I'm really looking forward to receiving them.

On the downside, it'll be coming via ParcelFarce... but, if I'm lucky, they'll ditch the box at the local Post Office once I've paid the import duty, and I can just collect it from there. Otherwise it'll be a case of missing the initial delivery attempt and taking time off work to be here when it arrives.

In other news, yesterday's planned second trip to Rude Britannia at the Tate Britain turned into a detour to Forbidden Planet... which is more disappointing every time I go there. They have a single Masterpiece Grimlock in their foyer display, along with a single blue Alternity Megatron, both hopelessly overpriced... but neither, or indeed any of the Alternity line are on their shelves. What they have is available in Toys'R'Us. Sure, they have some of the more esoteric action figures and a nice line in other random stuff, and the comic/DVD/book section in the basement is as bewilderingly overstocked as ever... but it's trying to cater to too many tastes these days and, inevitably, become full of the many and varied forms of Twilight (who knew there'd be a graphic novel, for those who have no imagination and a limited capacity to process the written word?)

Lunch was a mixture of Tapas (it was raining, and they had an awning) followed by TGI Friday's. Strangely not a bad combination, and it did give me the opportunity to down a rum cocktail in the mid-afternoon. When arriving at the restaurant, a table was available immediately... upon leaving, I heard there was a waiting time of an hour and a half - arrive for a late lunch, stay for dinner?

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Cinematic Pilgrimage

Just to start with, I'd like to say that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is an awesome movie. There's no pretension toward art, it's just good honest fun with a massive dose of zaniness and many levels of relationship story running right the way through. It may well join my collection of Feel-Good Movies.

The special effects and playful nods to videogames throughout provide an amusing framework - the 'level' structure is very apparent, with a frequent on-screen occurrence of numbers foreshadowing the next battle, and sequences from the comic books turning up in place of traditional flashbacks.

Definitely on the 'strongly-recommended' list...

And yet, I almost didn't go to see it today. I woke up feeling OK, but rapidly developed the kind of headache that gives me the chills. I took a dose of paracetamol and went back to bed fairly early in the morning, then got up again around noon and took some ibuprofen as the paracetamol hadn't done anything.

It wasn't really till very shortly before I actually went out that the headache started fading, but it did start fading quicker once I was out in the fresh air and warm-ish sunshine. I was still feeling a little unsteady until after lunch, at which point all seemed to return to normal bar the occasional twinge.

While out, I acquired Disaster: Day of Crisis for my Wii... having played it briefly this evening, I've found it a little frustrating due to the need to more ambidexterity than I'm generally capable of, and the awkward-but-typical Wiimote gun aiming. Camera movement seems very sluggish, making movement overall a bit hit-and-miss... but it may improve the further I get...

There are few other old-ish games that I'm going to try to pick up, having initially discounted them due to poor reviews... having seen they played on YouTube, and having already picked up some lower-scoring games and found them perfectly reasonable, I reckon it'd be worth trying more... as long as I can pick them up cheap.

Friday, 27 August 2010

First Impressions

When I walked into my office building this morning, I was confronted by a scene the likes of which I've seldom seen in all my days of office work: some jumped-up yuppie - either a manager in one of the other companies in the building, or just someone who considers himself important - was berating the guard on the front desk for presenting a poor first impression. Specifically, he complained about the way he looked at incoming visitors, and "all the leaning back, reading the newspaper", concluding that he was having a meeting with the building's managing agents, and fully intended to voice his complaints to them.

Um. OK...

First things first, the guy behind the desk is a security guard, not a receptionist. Meet and Greet is not part of his job description. He's there to ensure those who enter the building are supposed to be there, and if he offers visitors an appraising glance as they enter, that says to me he's doing his job. If he's not engaging everyone in happy conversation, he's ensuring he's not distracted by anything, giving someone the opportunity to slip by unchallenged (and they recently turned hardcore on security after a series of thefts from the offices). If he's reading a newspaper... well, everyone gets a break, and there isn't a break room on the ground floor.

And this guy - dressed in a 'Designer Faded' Superman t-shirt sandals and shorts, and with an unfortunate streak of mud on his backside that looked like he'd had explosive diarrhoea - wanted to complain to the managing agents because he felt that this guy was giving visitors a negative impression about the whole office complex?

Seriously, some of the folks in the offices on other floors are such dicks... and so far up their own arses, they can probably see out of their own mouths. And that's really not a pleasant image.

Moving on...

I've just been watching Team America: World Police on TV - having seen it once before in the cinema when it first came out. I still don't find it funny, except sporadically, and mainly due to the songs rather than the story. I particularly like the line from one of the songs "I missed you like Michael Bay missed the mark when he made Pearl Harbour"... and the use of black cats as 'panthers' at the end was inspired... but the rest of it just wasn't as sharp as it wanted to be/thought it was.

Right now, I'm settling down to watch 30 Days of Night... a very strange vampire movie, based on a very strange vampire graphic novel, in which the vampires don't so much drink blood as they do just spread it all over the place...

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Power Cuts and Other Excitements

So not only do I have a leaky bathroom ceiling to contend with in this unseasonal downpour, but I got home - rather late - from work yesterday and walked into a power cut. The first clue I got was a kebab shop nearby running on candles.

On the upside, it meant I got a slightly earlier night... although even that didn't stop me oversleeping this morning, when I'd fully intended to get into work early to tackle as much advanced work as possible before having to switch to my current magazine.

Bang goes that idea.

Today actually went incredibly smoothly, despite some early fireworks (an Estate Agent who asked for template changes yesterday, asked to undo them today, and tried to make it sound like our cock-up, despite our record of the two contradictory emails) and last minute cock-ups (a single page interiors feature was set as two pages why? And how many freebie entries were removed to cut it to size?). I was genuinely surprised that we were out shortly after 8pm, but not surprised that that the delays were on the Editorial side.

So, with the Editor conveniently on holiday (while due for a disciplinary meeting), Assistant Editor and Freelancer stepped up and did pretty much everything. Assistant Editor isn't supposed to do full days because of a medical condition, Freelancer doesn't do overtime. Assistant Editor spouted forth about the Design Rules of the magazine, some of which the Group Production Manager knew nothing about. Strange... considering it's her responsibility, not that of the Assistant Editor, the Editor or the Group Editor... And if the Group Production Manager doesn't know it's a rule, it's not adhered to or enforced. All this and, despite an extra week in the schedule, most of the Editorial came through late, and the Contents pages weren't started until after the official end of the day, despite having had a rock-solid flatplan for several days.

I despair, I really do. I cannot imagine how they will possibly cope when Production is moved to head office. It's not even my problem, but having given 11 years to some of these magazines, I am having a little trouble letting go.

The Sales team on this magazine were an absolute joy for the most part - ignoring any and all requests for late setting, naturally... taking those into account, they were probably no better than any of the others... Though they did, at least, attempt to tackle any problems we raised with them as promptly as possible. That is really what makes the difference these days.

The worst glitch this time round was something I've been predicting for months: Editorial specify x pages of Property Editorial for the magazine... Property Sales later specify y pages, having promised some to several clients. Often, the first the Editor knows of this discrepancy is when she sees the flatplan. Only a select few pieces are labelled in any meaningful way, so there's always confusion over which page is which... and neither Editorial nor Property Sales want to take responsibility for it. Neither even care to acknowledge that it might be their responsibility.

Even in the absence of her loathesome manager, equally loathesome Deputy Property Manager didn't see that it might be the responsibility of the Salespeople who have promised this Editorial coverage to inform the Editor of its necessity. This inevitably led to one page not being worked on - no original text or photographs either supplied to the Editors or requested by them - and being replaced, at about 7.30pm, with a filler ad.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

(a blazing stream of expletives)

I often wonder about the sanity of our clients. The Estate Agents in particular do sometimes focus on their brand at the expense of the properties they are - supposedly - attempting to market to the homebuyer. I say 'supposedly' because, of course, marketing to the homebuyer couldn't be further from their minds... Oh, no. They're marketing to each other: "Look at me: I have this property for £3.5M... Ner ner ner!"

So when one such client has a property going for over £10M, and wants a bespoke ad - not on their usual template - with (and here I quote) "va-va-voom", it seems like a good opportunity to really make use of the photos they sent. And they were great photos - any one of the nine pictures supplied could have run across a whole double-page spread with no loss of quality.

And, being something out of the ordinary, jobs like this do tend to come to me. I spent about 45 minutes to an hour around lunchtime today fixing the images, and then fine-tuning the layout that basically designed itself as soon as I perused the images...

...and then, right at the end of the day, the client responded with changes.

Apparently they wanted it on their usual advertising template after all, using only 5 of the 9 images... and they wanted the ad to make it (again, I quote) "look like a property worth £10M".

Gentle reader, if I were to say that this client - who shall remain nameless - has one of the plainest, most unattractive templates, and that even printing the text in gold leaf wouldn't make any of their properties look like they were worth £10M... would I merely sound bitter?

Then allow me to describe, in brief, the ad I put together. Imagine, if you will, a photo of the open front door to a very expensive property in London. This occupies 90% of the double-page spread, but with the remaining 8 photos displayed, in a column, over about half to two-thirds of the second page (where the building's rather plain frontage would otherwise be visible). The text they supplied - frankly too much for what they were trying to achieve - was spread about on both pages: the name of the property and a couple of short, descriptive paragraphs on the left, and the bulleted list of main features on the far right. Their logo and address details were present at a reasonable size on the righthand page.

I don't consider myself to be a Designer, but my boss - with a long job history of high-end design work within some very prestigious companies - reckoned it was a good piece of work, and I actually liked what I'd done for a change.

In retrospect, I can see why the client might want to cut some of the photos, simply to allow those remaining a greater prominence on the page... but to stick to their template?

I did a similar thing for a different Agent a few months ago and, while the deviation from template scared that client (I believe they actually phrased it that way themselves), they at least appreciated what I'd done, and simply asked for more of their corporate livery to be in evidence on the page. The essence of the ad remained in the final version.

But these guys... Seriously, if this is how they see their advertising, they have no business acting as Agents for properties "worth £10M".

Fuckwits.

Sunday, 22 August 2010

I Have Located My Watch

As my headache started to clear, I decided to catch up on the housework I still haven't done... Sort of. I've prepared a load of laundry but, frankly, it was too late in the day to actually start it going. And, whilst separating out the clothes I'm going to wash (tomorrow, after work, I guess), I found my watch nestling amongst the undergarments. God only knows how it got there... maybe I'd put it in a shirt pocket before putting the shirt into the laundry...

I still haven't done the dishes.

So what did I do?

Well, I've thrown away much of the Auto Assembly cardboard - the Bruticus Maximus component cardbacks and a few other bits - and several larger boxes from previous purchases, including Battle Ops Bumblebee, Leader Class Starscream and Voyager Payload. That's probably my largest load for the bins in quite a while... and it does mean I actually accomplished something this weekend, even if the rest of my housework is likely to have to wait till next weekend...

Another Sunday Headache

Not sure what it is about Sundays - whether I'm not eating properly/drinking enough on Saturday, staying up too late, sleeping in too late, or possible just caffeine withdrawal - but I do often wake up with terrible headaches that just don't want to shift.

Today, I have just such a headache. It wasn't even that bad when I woke up, but it's certainly been getting worse. It got to the point, around lunchtime, that I was very hungry, and yet my head was pounding... After taking some paracetamol and having a brief nap, the headache had receded enough that I could consider food. Normally, eating with a headache is just asking for a vomiting session later on, but my stomach was rumbling and I felt that I should take the risk.

I headed out and grabbed myself some takeaway from the nearby KFC, dashed back home, and gobbled it all down. So far, so good. Headache still present, but seems to be improving... it probably won't be gone for a good while yet, as I'm also feeling a little feverish.

Of course, the way this usually plays out is that I'll be feeling unwell one way or another for the rest of the day, but be right as rain for work tomorrow...

Saturday, 21 August 2010

Open and Shuttered

Just watched Shutter Island on DVD, having missed it in the cinemas, and I must say it's not what I expected (bar certain aspects of the denouement). The trailers suggested something fast-paced and nerve-wracking, yet I found my attention wandering during the very slow first hour. The major twist was completely predictable, but the details of it, the twist within the twist, were actually quite harrowing... and the last line of dialogue from US Marshall Teddy Daniels, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, is certainly poignant.

I suspect my weekend will be spent resting as much as possible. I managed to do a bit of photography today, but the light wasn't great and I ended up taking a nap while the camera recharged, so I didn't get everything done. Alternity Skywarp has been released from his packaging at long last, but not yet transformed. Starscream is very odd... but the robot mode fits the character, and actually has some similar features to the Masterpiece version, most notably the hip kibble. I like the asymmetry of transforming the bonnet, windscreen, roof and rear panel into robot mode's 'wings', but the overall appearance of robot mode is smooth, spindly and organic - not entirely in keeping with the very mechanical look of the other models so far released.

It's been a funny old week... From the ridiculous power-play by Editorial to the equally ridiculous final throes of one of our largest magazines every (last section going to press on Monday, along with the next two magazines) and, bizarrely, next week looks like it won't be too bad.

Really not sure what to make of our new Publishing Director. She's clearly made promises she was never going to be able to keep (this month), and is doing a fair old job of motivating folks to get her closer to living up to those promises... but the lengths she's had to go to due to the pathetically low yield on sales may well be her undoing. She has a plan, knows how to execute it, knows the sort of person to hire (one of my Copy Controllers was more than a little flustered that one of the new recruits actually wanted to act as Copy Controller for her own clients right from the point of sale, despite the facts that - in theory - it makes our jobs a lot easier and that level of commitment to the clients is about the only thing that might save the company once Production moves to head office.

Friday, 20 August 2010

I Have Misplaced My Watch

Not lost, you understand. Merely misplaced.

Just thought you'd want to know.

I don't find it as maddening to be without my watch these days. Perhaps I am mellowing with age, or something. I didn't even glance at my bare wrist once today, except intentionally, while demonstrating my lack of watch.

Ho hum.

Shitty press day today - not my own, though, and it shouldn't impact too heavily on mine on Monday... and, frankly, it was a lot better than I was expecting... but it was still shitty.

Thursday, 19 August 2010

The Choice Is Yours

At one point today, one of my Copy Controllers popped over to my desk to ask permission to replace or alter an advertisement that had been previously approved, but now required some form of change.

An advertisement for a magazine that goes to press next week... and which I have not even begun to work on.

When I expressed some incredulity that she felt the need to ask permission, she pointed out - quite rightly, as it happens - that she'd previously been given a bollocking by our boss for doing just that without first seeking permission.

So here's the thing: logically, there is no problem here. The job that needed post-approval work was so far ahead of where I am in the schedule that I could not possibly have reason to object. However, in my absence, both Designers and Copy Controllers are wont to use my name as an excuse for utterly stupid behaviour. For example, come press day, a client needs some last minute changes to their artwork - after having approved it - so the Copy Controller makes it happen (trying to be helpful) and, next thing you know, the client is refusing to pay because "the last amendments weren't done".

Only they were.

After the ad had already gone to the Printers.

Here's the process in brief:
1: Client books ad.
2: Client (eventually) sends copy for ad to be made, or complete ad ready for press.
3: Artwork/Complete Ad goes into system.
4A: Artwork is set by Designers, proofed to client, client sends changes. Repeat till client approves.
4B: Complete Ad is checked by the system.
5: Complete, approved Ad is flagged as Done, and can be pulled into Flatplan.
6: As pages are completed, they are PDF'd and sent to Printers.
7: The Magazine Happens.

So the problem is that some clients will request changes at or after step 6. At this point changes to the artwork are a nightmare because, come next month, there is no immediately obvious reason why we have the correct artwork in the system, but not in the magazine. It's only when we compare the time of the last amendments to the ad to the time of output for the page it's on that we discover the source of the problem and, at this point, the Copy Controller is justly admonished.

When changes come in anywhere between steps 3 and 4, this is all normal. Even at step 5, as long as other ads on the page are incomplete, it's not necessarily a problem to make further changes to an ad that was thought to be 'Done'.

And when you factor in that we're not talking about the magazine I'm working on now, but the one I'll be working on next week, you wouldn't think anyone would have any doubts, because the process for that entire magazine is stalled at step 5 until my current magazine is complete.

But, gentle reader, that is the problem in a nutshell.

Do you see?

Come on, it's quite obvious. Read that last sentence again.

Yes, that's right. I used the T word.

These morons are not Thinking. Their 'mental' process, such as it is, goes "I do this... I get a bollocking... I do not listen to the explanation of my mistake... I do not consider why I have been repremanded... I do not consider the workflow... And, to forestall any future bollockings, I shall not consider whether or not the current situation is the same as the last, I shall simply consider all situations to be identical and waste everybody's time"

Really, it's not difficult. If only they would consider that they are not the be-all and end-all of the process, if only they would realise that what they consider 'finished' is, at best, halfway done... if only they'd bloody realise that, while they may not be on press, another of the Copy Controllers is, because we're still producing 10 magazines a month...

...In short, if only they'd bloody learn from their mistakes.

Honestly, how much better will they be in their next job if only they'd learn to connect cause and effect? But instead they all act like bratty 5 year olds, pouting whenever someone points out their mistake, and never bothering pay any attention to the chain of events set off by their mistake.

If they understood the chain of events, they'd understand why they must not do what they did, and what is acceptable in situations which might, at first glance, appear similar.

Seriously, people, no-one ever has a problem with people making a mistake as long as they don't make the same mistake again and again... These vacant wasters only ever find new ways to creatively fuck up. Even if you make one big mistake that costs you your job, you can learn from it, and not lose your next job. Don't just back away from something that should be within your remit because your boss indicates that you have erred. Analyse the mistake and the situation in which you made the mistake and determine for yourself the better course of action. Discuss it with your boss to show that you have learned or, at least, that you are trying to learn. Sulking is for losers.

Of course, this tactic won't work on someone who doesn't want to discuss the problem... but that's a whole different issue. I personally have not progressed beyond passive aggression when dealing with this type. In my experience, all they actually want is someone to blame. I let them have that, and avoid entering into any further discussion.

On a semi-related note, we have a Temp in this week. Supposedly a Designer, but I discovered today - quite by accident - that he'd been booking RGB JPEGs to his jobs. Yes, the system can automatically change colourspace (in a JPEG only) from RGB to CMYK... but the results are crap, and what kind of half-witted so-called Designer works with RGB images for Print?

Monday, 16 August 2010

Small Victories

And so it came to pass that the Editorial Expansion - the transfer of three Designers to setting Editorial only long before our department is shut down - was put 'on hold', when Group Publishing Director was presented with the argument that leaving the remaining 3 Designers on Ads only could be construed as a demotion and, thereby, constructive dismissal. And that would also constitute constructive dismissal for me and my counterpart. And all of that would constitute constructive dismissal for our boss.

Apparently GPD hadn't considered that it might be seen as demotion - entirely believable, since she was knee-jerk reacting to a proposal by the brown-nosing Group Editor, who was knee-jerk reacting to losing another battle to the Group Production Manager: he blinded GPD with all kinds of flannel about how it would be better if the Designers switched sooner rather than later, and she didn't even stop to think about the impact on everyone else before agreeing that it was a capital idea.

I despair for this company, I really do. Nobody sees beyond the here and now. Nobody wants to consider future consequences.

In other news, I finally broke Alternity Starscream and RotF Bludgeon out of their packaging after work today. Starscream has a few loose joints, but nothing structurally important. Overall, I'm impressed by the design - both of the car (the Mitsuoka Orochi - 'large snake' could not be a more apt description of this car!) and the robot, which is so far distant from the G1 stubby-armed brick you'd hardly believe there was any connection. Bludgeon, meanwhile, is yet another Decepticon tank. Vehicle mode is impressively sturdy, and the - sadly fixed - rubber treads are cool, while robot mode is suitably skeletal... it fits the Universe/Classics aesthetic as well as it does the movie line largely because of the very plain head.

And then there's the continuation of Chuck Season 3. Wow... wheels within wheels in this plotline...

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Sunday Service

Straight off the bat, I have to say that Auto Assembly on a Sunday is a massive improvement on the Saturdays I attended last year, and in 2007.

Really, hugely better.

Quieter, slower, more sedate. No crowding, no barging... and, while they still haven't got the volume quite right on the PA, it was quieter than last year... and, hey, no random metal band noising the place up.

My main reason for considering the whole weekend, in fact, was that Next Of Kin were not going to be present and, instead, Mr Garry Chalk - probably my favourite Optimus Prime because of Beast Wars and Beast Machines - had volunteered to perform a Jazz set. Only about 45 minutes, going by the programme of events, but I'm sure it would have been cool.

Regardless, my partner in crime and I arrived shortly after 10am, got into the hall without queuing for even a moment, registered our arrival and collected our goodie bags in seconds, and then proceeded to mooch around buying stuff.

I cannot adequately express how much smoother and more pleasant that experience was this year, compared to last.

My friend even got chatting to one of the stallholders, who mentioned that yesterday had been utterly insanely busy - quite possibly unpleasantly so, from what I heard.

On the downside, many of the staff were somewhat the worse for wear after the Saturday evening, and poor Scott McNeil had been unable to fend of the eighty million attendees who'd wanted to buy him a drink, and so failed to appear today before about 1-2pm. Someone should have provided him with a minder...

Strangely, I was beaten to the first purchase by my companion - which is becoming a habit - who added several new Bumblebees to her collection, including Battle Blade, Cannon and Might Muggs varieties. I followed fairly close behind, and eventually overtook quite substantially... but, when your collection involves more than just one character, and you're at a bloody TransFormers convention, this is precisely how it should be.

But while my companion was in a far better humour this time round - thanks, largely, to the lack of queuing first thing - other companions were most certainly not: one girl, attending with her boyfriend, was heard to complain "It's all just TransFormers!" to which boyfriend responded "There's some Hello Kitty as well!"... but to no avail.

Somewhat upsetting was the fact that, when we entered the second, smaller hall for the Simon Furman/Nick Roche 'Creating a TransFormer' workshop just after 2pm (its listed start time), we were unsure that we had arrived at the correct location because neither guest was present, and nothing seemed to be set up for the workshop. We hung around for a few minutes - me grinning smugly at the guy failing to transform Leader Class Starscream, my companion pointing out that I'd complained about her smug/snide commentary last time, so my amusement was surely just as inappropriate - and eventually the setup started... Sadly, they didn't have a power cord long enough for the projector, and Furman arrived at least 10 minutes late. By twenty past, we figured it'd be safest to call it a day, as our parking ran out at 3.30, and there was no way they'd be ready to even start the presentation before 2.30.

Throughout the day, I took several turns around the main hall, hearing snippets of the guest talks from Nick Roche and James Roberts, and later Derrick J Wyatt, catching glimpses of Garry Chalk chatting with attendees and having his photo taken with them (and the occasional sign saying "Munky Not Trukk"). I still don't recognise most of the comics-related guests, but remembered seeing some last year.

We made the right call in taking a packed lunch, not least because it gave us the opportunity to return to the car and offload our first round of purchases. Not that lunch wasn't available at the hotel - in fact, this time, they even had a tempting-looking buffet in the bar area - just that our previous experience of the service wasn't that great. It also meant we had a reason to pop into the nearby comics shop before returning to the show.

So, overall, a far more positive experience than last year. It was very tempting to get some more money at the hotel's cash machine, but I'd arrived with £350-ish in my wallet, and spent about £320 of that by the time we left. I skipped on a few things that I'll probably regret later (Voyagers for £20? Deluxes for a tenner? Prices from 2007, anyone?!) but I still feel that I made out like a bandit.

My haul, you ask? Well, I got Botcon Skybite and 'Air' Sharkticon, Universe Special Edition Drag Strip, JustiToys MP-5 Upgrade Package (Masterpiece Megatron's stock and silencer, which has been impossible to find for a good couple of years), Alternity Bumblebee, Starscream and Skywarp (triggering my one OCD issue with TransFormers - now I must buy Alternity Thundercraker when he goes on general release), Revenge of the Fallen Bludgeon, and the complete set of Energon Bruticus Maximus (I'd hoped for the toned-down movie version, but none were around).

I'd hoped to find either Galaxy Force Chromia or Cybertron Thunderblast, for my Morrigan repaint project, but there were none to be seen apart from the limited edition, DVD pack-in Minerva repaint... for £80.

And what did I skip? Hunt for the Decepticons Hailstorm, Elita-1 and Sidearm Sideswipe, Sea Attack Ravage (I quite like the original, even if the colouration is hopelessly wrong), RotF Mindwipe, the E-Hobby set of Dreadwind & Smokejumper (aka Blue Mindwipe and Skystalker, aka RotF Soundwave and Cobalt Sentry Ratbat-analogue, if you ask me!), Masterpiece Thundercracker (the Japanese version is rather expensive, after all, and I got Skywarp for £20 in Argos!), Masterpiece Ghost Starscream (I'm not normally impressed by transparent plastic remakes, but MP Starscream is a thing of beauty in person, and it was only £80), Device Label Blaster and any one of the memory stick kitties (out of cash, by that point), Beast Wars Transmetals Tigerhawk (the boxed one I saw was gone by my second turn around the hall, and wasn't unopened anyway, the loose one I saw was gone before my last turn). And, of course, TFCC Punch/Counterpunch who, having sold out his limited 300-unit restock within a couple of hours on the Club web store, turned up at AA for a mere £120... one hell of a markup).

The trip home was punctuated by a brief visit to a friend of my companion's, to rest and catch up before the long and, as it happened, complicated journey home. First we were stopped in our tracks by a road accident in the narrow country lanes that warranted the arrival of an air ambulance, then something went wrong on the motorways two or three times, then the route to my home was beset by roadworks in three places. My companion was disappointed that she was unable to return me home by 6.30pm, but it had been such a good day overall that it scarcely mattered.

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Erosion

Much as I like hearing things in advance on the grapevine at work, there are times I wish I'd remained ignorant of the machinations of certain elements.

Bad enough that the company is making me redundant, but asking me to carry on working till January because they're not quite ready to make me redundant yet... Now one of the local managers is proposing that we change the structure of the department ahead of schedule.

So here's the thing: In January, three of the Designers officially become Editorial staff, the rest get made redundant. The Group Editor, along with his boss (also my boss's boss) and our new Publishing Director, believes that we should switch those three Designers over to purely Editorial work now, rather than waiting till January. This would leave just 3 Designers (should be 4, but one of them has decided to go off on a long-term sickie) to do all the advertising for all 10 magazines - one of which broke the 300 page mark this month - that's Property, Lifestyle and Classified.

It's a collossal shift in workload - the three Editorial Designers would, granted, have it bad enough with their unbalanced page counts (Group Editor apparently feels it's not important to ensure their workload is balanced) and their Prima Donna Editors (untempered by their pussy-whipped boss), but the 3 or 4 other Designers lose their creative input on the magazines, and have to split an increased proportion of ads between themselves.

Far be it from me to complain about fairness - in know full-well that such high concepts have no place in an office - but it is ridiculous to make such a change before the imposed, Groupwide change makes it necessary. The current system balances the workload perfectly - nothing is ever left untouched for too long. Altering the department's dynamic such that half the number of staff have to tackle the same number of ads is just asking for catastrophe... And yet the department's Management will still be charged with making it happen.

And then there's my role - with full responsibility for getting Editorial to print transferring to the Group Editor, I'm no longer the Production Manager I was, dealing only with ads and final pages. This 'great idea' is eroding my part in producing my magazines while the company as a whole erodes my love for them by continuing to permit their ruination by lazy salespeople.

I just need to be out of there in so many ways...

In other news: barring any unforseen disasters, I shall be off to Auto Assembly 2010 tomorrow... Watch for details of my massive haul... I hope.

In other, other news, Flock seems to have rediscovered its affinity with Photobucket, and I can upload photos again. Hurrah.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

Funny thing...

Normally, my memory for movies is excellent, to the point that I rarely need to see a movie a second time and, if I do, I spend most of the time remembering exactly how it's about to unfold before it actually happens.

Strangely not the case with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life, a film with more title than it has plot.

I am certain that I saw it in the cinema, and remember the bare bones of the plot but, aside from the bit where Lara is riding atop the Great Wall of China, and the whole acrobatic sequence in the neon-lit slum, I have absolutely no recollection of anything... Even as I watch it now, I'm finding it utterly forgettable. It's a true shame considering what the stars are capable of, given decent material... and considering how much potentially brilliant material there is for a Tomb Raider movie.

And did Gerard Butler really just say "You can break my wrist... but I'm still gonna kiss you"?

Deary me.

Weird Dream Weekend

It's not that often that I remember enough about a dream for it to be worth documenting, but this weekend has been particularly vivid.

Friday night's dream revolved around a serial killer who left written messages for his victims before (possibly several days before) he killed them. An old friend of mine (who I have not been in contact with for a good few years) called me out of the blue, to say she'd had such a message. Here's where it gets a bit hazy, because the message was the fridge magnet poem I came up with at my sister's place, but with two lines substantially altered. No idea what they were - for some reason, I couldn't even read it in the dream - I just saw that two lines were much longer than they should have been. It also becomes less clear if that was the message he left my old friend, or whether he'd also left me a message. Either way, next thing I know there are a couple of guys moving into a tent where the mezzanine staircase for my flat should have been. And the geography of my building was different because I could see it from one of my windows - bathroom or kitchen, not entirely sure... it was as if they'd switched places. I became convinced that one of these guys, or possibly even both - grey haired, but quite heavily built - were the killer(s)... and that their victims were those they became obsessed with, and yet felt neglected or ignored by. That's about all I remember from that one...

Last night's was something of a return to familiar ground. I have been having tooth trouble in real life, so it's no surprise to have dreams relating to my teeth. In this one, I got fed up with the wobbling of a couple of loose teeth, and so pulled them out. The first one came out cleanly and, in fact, revealed that the reason behind its looseness was another tooth pushing through from above. The second one, however, seemed to pull a giant clump of fleshy root with it. The tooth actually seemed far too massive to be one of mine, but I guess that's dreams for you. I prodded at the 'root', and it squirted blood at me. Nice.

So there I was, wandering around with a couple of gaps in my teeth - nothing too visible (although, according to the dream, at least one of the pulled teeth was a canine) but it certainly affected my speech. Towards the end of the dream, I was wandering along the lane to my parents' house and saw a group of three blokes about my age, larking about on the grass like teenagers. As I passed one of them, he called out to me, and asked if I recognised him. I really didn't, and yet I knew who he was (he looked nothing like he does in real life - none of them did - but I 'knew' who they were because an old schoolfriend (in real life) once told me that he looks terrible now) so I let him introduce himself, and his two friends. One I almost recognised, but the other was a caricature of the real person - like something out of one of those horror movies where the 'monsters' are actually in-bred humans. The family of one of them lives down the same road as my folks, so I walked along with him, catching up - mentioning that I'll be made redundant at the beginning of next year - and leaving the other two behind.

My headache from yesterday has cleared... shame the same cannot be said of the pile of washing up in my kitchen...

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Bigger = Better?

I popped out to Uxbridge today, as I had planned to do yesterday, with a few bits of shopping in mind. First and foremost, I wanted to pick up Shutter Island, which I'd managed to miss in the cinema. It seems a little daft to walk into HMV (or whatever) and buy one DVD, so I did my usual browsing and came up with another few movies that I'd missed: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Zombieland and My Name Is Bruce, each one of a mere £8.

It may seem strange that, as a fan of Bruce Campbell, I've never seen any of the Evil Dead series. After all, they cemented him as the wisecracking B-Movie hero of choice. I watch Burn Notice, in which he's pretty good at portraying a washed up spy... He was great as Autolycus in both Hercules & Xena... I loved his cameos in the Spider-Man movies (he's one of only two good reasons to watch Spider-Man 3, the other being the jazz club dance scene)... I made a point of picking up Bubba-Ho-Tep as soon as it became available on DVD... but there's a whole load of his stuff that I haven't seen.

In My Name Is Bruce, he plays a washed up B-Movie actor and complete dick... by the name of Bruce Campbell. He's kidnapped by a teenager who's unwittingly unleashed an ancient evil upon his small-town home because, well, he's Bruce Campbell, and so he knows a thing or two about kicking monster arse. The first thing that struck me was how dark the movie is. Not in the sense of scary, portentious dark - just "where's the lighting?" dark. Certainly much of it is set at night - in fact, there were probably only a couple of short scenes shot in daylight - but it was so dark, it was actually very difficult to see what was going on half the time. It's kind of intentionally bad, full of clichés, but ultimately a pretty good homage to B-Movies. The end is a real laugh... and some of the gags throughout are quite funny but, like Bubba-Ho-Tep, there's something missing from it that I can't quite place.

Zombieland, meanwhile, is billed as a comedy, but it's more of a loving homage to Zombie movies in much the same way as Faith Erin Hicks' Zombies Calling. It teaches us some of the more important Rules For Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, while putting its protagonists in precisely the sort of position their rules tell them to avoid. The ending is almost impossibly upbeat but, since the characters are all pretty likeable, I'll let it have that. Props to Woody Harrelson for his part - what seems initially to be his standard nutcase turns out to have quite a sad backstory. Oh, and it turns out that upbeat ending has 'sequel' written all over it for a reason...

I also went looking for Wii games and, while I found a few that I'm interested in (Disaster: Day of Crisis, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, No More Heroes 2 to name but three), I ended up not buying any. Not quite sure why, other than the fact that I've already got plenty of good games that I don't have time for...

...What I did get was the new, larger-than-Leader-Class Battle Ops Bumblebee. From the photos, it appeared to be an upgraded version of the Human Alliance mold, with a few interesting changes. Hasbro seems fixated on movie Bumblebee's gun arm, and so that forms a good part of this model's gimmicks. Sadly, in doing so, it reduces the toy's effectiveness - the gun arm doesn't exactly articulate well: there's no outward movement at all, and the elbow moves only to service the hand-to-gun transformation. Several other decisions are confusing... such as the limited mobility of the head, and the lack of wrist rotation on such a large model (seriously, any Bumblebee toy would be so much improved by the ability to rotate his hand at the wrist). This thing is about twice the height of Human Alliance BB in robot mode, but still smaller than the Ultimate version. Still, it's an excellent representation of movie Bumblebee - probably the best so far, on balance. Even though it lacks the extensive lights and sounds of the Ultimate version, its proportions are better, it stands better, and the lights and sounds it has are more than adequate. Word to the wise, though: I've seen it on the shelves at The Entertainer for £70... Argos have it £10 cheaper!

By the time I got back home - having picked up my dry cleaning and restocked my fridge - I had the beginnings of a headache and, foolishly, didn't take anything... Now it's a lot worse, so I may just give myself an early night...

Friday, 6 August 2010

Strange Occurrences in Browserland, continued

So the new version of Flock actually has reduced functionality?

Wow. Well done, folks.

It looks like Chrome - no bloody menus, and very few icons - and, as far as I can tell, has been stripped of its Blog Editor and Image Uploader, my two main reasons for downloading Flock in the first place. Sheesh...

I'd intended to pop out today, either to Uxbridge or Harrow, but managed to delay myself with various Internet-based amusements till it got to 3pm... still plenty of shopping time, to be sure, but that's when schools start to kick out, and I didn't fancy bumming about in Uxbridge or Harrow with loads of schoolkids taking up space. Looks more like I'll be going out tomorrow, then...

Hopefully my post - if any - will arrive at a decent hour, so I can pop out before lunch, but who knows?

Didn't even get up to much playing around on the Wii. A friend stopped by yesterday to watch some more Monster Hunter Tri - which I hadn't played for quite some time - and I ended up wasting far too much time demonstrating Another Code: R beforehand. Only had time for one MH3 quest before she had to head home... but it does mean that I still don't have to face off against the Great Jaggi just yet.

What I did do was forge a new weapon - a lance - and upgrade it substantially. It always reaches a point where I need some item that I haven't yet been able to harvest, but I managed to pretty much max out the lance up to that point without running out of materials that are commonly available... Now I just need to learn to use it well. At first glance, it seems far more effective in my play style (read: mostly random A-button bashing, never using Guard or Evade), but only does a 3-hit combo as standard. MH3 really needs more time than I can generally give it... and this holiday has been a complete waste.

I did get out Castlevania Judgement and Muramasa earlier, just to kind of nudge myself toward playing one or the other... but have only played a tiny bit of Castlevania thusfar - just enough to finally beat the first stage in Castle mode, the challenge-based game. Sadly, stage 2 requires that I perform a 6-hit combo to proceed... and I can barely manage 3 hits. That said, I've won my first costume-customising accessory - silver-rimmed glasses - that certainly look rather fetching on Carmilla, and thereby unlocked the 'Accessories' music.

There's not a great deal on TV tonight, so I may well play more a bit later... But it's also tempting to switch back to MH3 and retread some of the Questing ground I've already completed, just to see how well I cope with the lance...

Thursday, 5 August 2010

Strange Occurrences in Browserland

I've been using Flock as my main browser for several years now, and generally found it nice and reliable... up until I installed 2.5.6 on my current machine...

It's had trouble keeping my Photobucket accounts accessible to its own built-in photo uploader, it's had trouble posting to my blogs via its built-in blog editor, and now my Accounts and Services tab is empty and refusing to update, because I followed the advice they give for curing these issues.

I know part of the problem is that Photobucket is constantly being upgraded, and so things relating to login, etc, are subject to change... but now Blogger as well? And the Media Sharing section of Accounts and Services no longer even lists Photobucket, though Blogger is listed and yet still won't appear in my active accounts list.

Perhaps I shall try the new version of Flock, and see if that solves any of the issues... or if it just creates new ones.

Now that's just brilliant...

Watching the movie Sleepwalkers - based on a Stephen King novel, so you know the author is going to pop up in a cameo... but, as his character (the cemetary keeper) was blundering about, trying to tell someone it wasn't his fault that horny youngsters were larking about in the cemetary, one of the folks who shooed him away was...

...Clive frikkin' Barker.

Checking the credits on IMDb, it seems Tobe Hooper, John Landis and Joe Dante also appear... either they've not been on yet, or I've missed them... Though it may be that Joe Dante was the police photographer..?

Other than that, the only highlights of this movie are the gorgeous Mädchen Amick, and the truly lovely Alice Krige (damnit, even as the Borg Queen she was sexy... it's the voice... I clearly have a thing for the plummy, 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' type of voice...). She reminds me of someone else in this... but I can't quite place it...

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

On Completionism

So, five days and just under 15 hours of playtime after picking up Another Code: R, it has officially become the second Wii game I've managed to complete, the first being Sam & Max Season 1 (with the aid of a walkthrough because some of its puzzles were completely daft).

AC:R is clearly aimed at a younger demographic, but anyone can appreciate a well-crafted piece of interactive fiction like this. By the end of it, I think my only real gripe would be that, for once, I kind of wished there was spoken dialogue rather than just the text... So much of it was slow and ponderous, I was begging for some sound other than the pips and bleeps and the - admittedly very good - music. The characters were well-crafted and visually expressive and, in many ways, the average quality of videogame voice acting could have completely ruined the story. But, still, a bit of spoken dialogue (other than the groans and sighs of two specific characters right near the end) would have been nice.

There was probably nothing truly surprising in the game's Nancy Drew-style narrative twists, but there's certainly plenty of scope for a follow-up (AC:R is actually the follow up to Another Code: Two Memories for the DS) featuring the same - very compelling and likeable - protagonist, Ashley Mizuki Robins. The presentation is excellent and, while I'd question the 'improvements' to the player interface between the DS and the Wii, it's certainly functional and fairly fluid. I only found myself stumped by a few of the TAS-related puzzles and, once I saw the solution, I was kicking myself for not spotting it sooner. That said, there was one where even the solution left me stumped until I really paid attention to what I was seeing on screen - it's all very cleverly done.

And modeling the in-game TAS after the Wiimote leads to all kinds jiggery-pokery that would otherwise have been impossible, or at least very difficult to achieve. I particularly liked the one-and-only usage of the Nunchuk, right near the end of the game, which unlocks the full potential of the TAS.

There are supposedly some subtle differences on the second playthrough... so I may give it another go, just to see if I can improve my time - some of the 15-hour playtime was purely the slog of getting through the dialogue, and it'll be interesting to see how much... Also, while I got the special token from one of the recyclers, I didn't get the mythical red gumball...

Now I just need to decide what I'm going to (try to) finish next... Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is the obvious choice since I'm more than halfway through that already... but I'm still terrified of continuing from the point I'm at right now...

Something Like A Holy Grail

For absolutely ages, I've been experimenting with Stereoscopic Photography - taking two photos and inch or so apart, and fiddling their channels to make Red/Left, Green/Left+Right, Blue/Right and thus create either a sort-of-colour or a greyscale stereograph.

I first tried this in PhotoShop at work, and found it incredibly easy. Similarly, PaintShop Pro does it rather well... But now I'm on a new machine, I don't have either yet. Hopefully the disc for PSP is still lurking around at my parents' place... but I haven't dug it out yet.

So all I have access to by default is PhotoShop Elements - which works with Layers, but not Channels - or the freely downloadable Gimp - which has so far proven unfathomable. One minute the Layers and Channels work as I'd expect, next they're doing something bonkers... or not doing anything. Really must try to get the hang of it while I'm on holiday.

But then, out of sheer desperation, I did a websearch for 'stereoscopic photos', and came up with this link: the Stereo Photo Maker, which even works with Windows 7. What's more, it's incredibly easy to use. Literally just load in 2 photos, and a single click does all the hard work for you. Alignment can be adjusted via a simple 'point and click' system, and several different types of stereo photos can be created. It's very quick and very intuitive... excellent stuff... and the results (Red/Cyan pics below) speak for themselves...


Starscream Mono Starscream Colour


Starscream is just asking for the 3D photo treatment, because he's so... well... three dimensional. Since he's so wide, you only need to turn him a little to create a lot of depth. I may yet shoot more photos, having sorted out the focal length settings on my camera, to keep everything nice and sharp over greater picture depth.

A subtle change in the weather...

For the last few weeks, it's been really warm and really dry around London. At most, it'd be a little muggy, or maybe there'd be a three-minute shower of fine rain.

Right now, and for the second time today, it's chucking it down. It honestly looks like someone's spraying my window with a hose. It sounds like a very long train is going past. With only a few minutes' rainfall, there are streams running down the street.

In short, it's raining heavily.

I just hope my ceilings don't start leaking again... And that it dries up a little before I have to go out...

Oh, and I think I hear thunder now...